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Archive for February, 2006

My baby girl – Josie.

The story of my baby girl Josie is short but sweet….about 6 years ago – my friend Leslie had a boy Yorkie named Ozzie. They found a girl Silky who was a stray and so Leslie’s sister took in Harriette. They decided to breed them….so when the litter was born, Leslie let me choose from the litter. I chose the only girl. When they took the pups in to get their tails snipped – they almost killed Josie cause the vet (or whoever does that shit) cut too close and she almost bled out…so my girl doesn’t really have a tail. When she goes to wag it – her whole butt moves and it’s the cutest thing ever!

She’ll be six in June. June 4th to be exact. She has a condition called “reverse” sneezing. It’s where instead of coming OUT, her sneezes go in..it’s similar to human asthma attacks. She can’t breathe and it’s almost like she’s choking on something. She gasps for air…it’s freaky!!! so one day I got home from work and my roommate TB – was freaking out (so was her mom) Josie had been doing that reverse sneezing thing for an hour and they couldn’t get her to stop. To get her to stop – I usually distract her. I pick her up really fast or I blow in her face and she stops. So I panic – jump in my car and race over to the vet’s office. by the time I got to the vet’s office – she was done with the reverse sneezing stuff….but I didn’t know that’s what it was at the time I was taking her there…..Once I got there – learned what it was and they gave her an antihistimane(damn that’s hard to spell – I think I spelled it wrong and I’m too lazy to get the dictionary so get over it)….so I give her that when she starts doing that and it dissipates.

Holy crap I did it!!! I posted a picture without my brother’s help!!! I like to try things out and if I can’t figure it out, I ask him for help. Now, if only I can remember it for the next time I want to post a picture :)

What Tattoo should you get?

I have found that sometimes – little things seem to pop up and slap me in the face. I’ve been debating on what kind of tat to get and I’ve been going between a cute little fairy or something Asian…so on blogthings…I found this quiz….


You Should Get An Asian Inspired Tattoo


Mysterious and expressive
You like to show off, but you also like to keep some allure

Personality Test.

OK! As you all know, I love blogthings! I’m always on there taking those quizzes….Here are my results from the Five Point Personality Test I took….It hit pretty close to home and was fairly accurate! Was yours? Click on the little link below my results to find out!


Your Five Factor Personality Profile


Extroversion:

You have high extroversion.
You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends.
You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation.
Enthusiastic and fun, you’re the first to say “let’s go!”

Conscientiousness:

You have high conscientiousness.
Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.
Most things in your life are organized and planned well.
But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.

Agreeableness:

You have medium agreeableness.
You’re generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.

Neuroticism:

You have medium neuroticism.
You’re generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.
Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.
Your life is pretty smooth, but there’s a few emotional bumps you’d like to get rid of.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You’ll try almost anything interesting, and you’re constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

Thursdays tidbits.

I want to thank Goddess, for picking two more of her HOTT Cops awards to go to Las Vegas officers. Mark Cirkosz and Pete Connell. Thanks Goddess! That ties us now with Pierce County, right?

So I learned several things today. I learned I can be a bit high maintenance.

I learned I can regret sending an email immediately after sending it…especially when I do that shit here at home and I can’t take it back. I have a lot of opinions on things and I went off half cocked without really thinking through what I was saying. Don’t get me wrong, I thought about what I wanted to say and I said what I was thinking and I said what I wanted to say. Then, I hit send and I realized…maybe that wasn’t the venue for saying it? Who knows, guess I’ll deal with the consequences when/if they happen.

I learned that people who claim to be my friends actually talk shit about me behind my back. I learned that having friends directly over the division I work is not good…especially when they talk shit about me to other people over other divisions who I am really good friends with.

I learned that I am tired of putting up with people’s shit when it has nothing to do with me.

I learned I’m tired of taking ownership of other people’s bullshit.
I learned I’m done with that.

I learned that I have a caring and important person in my life who keeps me grounded. He lets me vent and he lets me be me without subject to judgement. My boss does that for me too. So basically, I have two that are directly in my building that I work in.

I learned that my best friend TB will go toe to toe with anyone who talks shit about me.

I learned my friend TB can be the better person and apologize for something she says.

So that’s what I learned today :) I also found out that I love new toys. I got a new computer today from IT and it ROCKS! I got it in the late afternoon so I only had a few minutes to play with it before leaving for the day. Well, leaving for the weekend cause today was Friday and I’m supposed to be out shooting pool or at least hanging out with the girls as they shoot pool. I’m not feeling very socialable right now and I think I’m isolating.

I’ll do a little journaling before going to bed – and the first thing I’ll put down is a grateful list. I’ve been acting like a selfish little spoiled high maintenance cry baby. I’m not normally like that so I need to redirect my thoughts and actions so I get back to me. So I can get back to who I really am. :)

I thought about Todd a lot today. After last night, it was fresh in my brain when I woke up and throughout the day. He would so love what’s going on in my life right now. He would be so happy for me. I have a boss I love, I have a job I love more and more each day, I have a great new car, I love my house, I have tons of friends and family who love me for who I am – no changes required.

I found out I made some people cry last night with my story and I apologize for that. It was a story that needed to be told. Todd was a HUGE part of our lives and he had a lot of people who loved him (who still love him even though he’s not here physically) and I’m grateful I posted what I did and I’m grateful I felt what I felt when I posted it.

I’m watching CSI right now on Spike TV….it’s a “cross” episode…Las Vegas super fake CSI’s are in Miami with the other super fake CSI’s. I love the fakeness of this show – it’s just so entertaining! I remember when it was first coming on, they were spouting about how it was just like Las Vegas’ crime scene analysts. HAHAHAHAHAHA what a joke. Ya know, I refused to watch it for a good 2 years cause of that lie. I ended up watching it and loving it anyway. Even though it’s NOTHING like a real CSI – it’s awesomely entertaining! Have you noticed how bright Marg Helgenberger’s eyes are? Holy shit. That’s just insane hahaha That Macy dude from CSI Miami is just freaky looking….ever notice that? Creepy creepy creepy. I know I shouldn’t make fun of him and so I won’t…but he gives me the creeps.

So I read on MSN this list of what men want women to know…it’s kinda creepy…(please note: I had read on Goddesses page that she also read the same article and made some commentary….so click on the link Blonde Intuition on my Blogroll to see her stuff) OK so a lot of things are creeping me out today hahah get used to it…I’m moody and I’m sometimes bitchy. And I have to say I think this list would have had more validity if it had been written by a man. So guys, please feel free to comment on this list!

The first thing on this list is:

1. “Kissing and romance mean as much to us as sex.” hmmmm I’ll have to ask the Marine if this is true….it’s been untrue for most of the men in my past…there’s always a first!

2. “We like you just the way you are; no models required!” well isn’t that special. Now if they would only act that way! haha the Marine does so I can’t complain!

3. “We love when you cook us a meal, knit us a scarf, or buy us something we need without our asking” Don’t we all love that shit? I hate cooking tho – so don’t get your hopes up too much Marine. I don’t know how to knit either…the 3rd part of that I can do hahaha

4. “We want to be constantly admired” Don’t we all? admire me and I’ll admire you! I need to admire myself first and foremost tho…I’d suggest the same for you guys

5. “We appreciate when you contribute financially, especially if you can afford to” It says on the site that men like to treat us to things – dinners, dates, etc etc…but they also like to be treated by us for those things. What happens when you have a completely old fashioned guy who won’t let you? Unless it’s something small like a bagel?

6. “Being kind to our mothers, siblings, and annoying relatives scores big points with us” hahaha that’s cute…isn’t it?

7. “Unusual spots for sex turn us on” yeah? ya think? who woulda thunk it? ever think it turns us on too and that’s why we let it happen? ;)

8. “We want to be validated all the time” here’s one of the creepy things I was talking about….WTF?!?!?! we all feel a need to be validated by others

9. “We need you to encourage us to take risks, and support us if we fail” wow….yeah…OK…why wouldn’t we?

10. “We can have platonic friendships with females” Yup…and you need to know we can have platonic friendships with males…

11. “We like women who are assertive, but not aggressive” Assertive is always better than aggressive.

12. “We’re not as different from you as you think” I always knew that Mars/Venus thing was a ruse to sell books and make money off those women who were needy enough to have to find excuses for their man’s behavior. Instead of just accepting him what he is and how he is, they need to find excuses for how/what he is.

I’m sure at one point in my life I was like that too so I’m going to stop here before getting onto my soap box. (It’s just fun getting on that box sometimes!!! hahaha)

Until next time…. :)

Whiners. Need cheese?

So something has been happening at work and I’m going to vent here cause it irritates me and I need to do this….I know a lot of police officers read this blog….if you get offended, I apologize – that’s not my intent. I do NOT, by any means, think that EVERY officer is like this…I know who did this and I know who my anger is directed at….that’s who I’m bitching about…

My boss has done nothing but bend over backwards for people where we work. Make sure they have back up on violent calls, make sure they can take some training days or vacation days…we are VERY short handed on grave yard and so we’ve been looking at ways to fix that.

Instead of absorbing one full squad and sending them all to the other squads. The boss came up with a way to supplement graveyard…that’s our busiest shift and our shortest in manpower…The boss came up with the idea (with the Lieutenants mind you) that we would take 2 training officers and their trainees from dayshift and adjust their shift 2-3 hours earlier. they will come in earlier and then leave earlier than the rest of their squad. We then did the same on our two training squads on swing shift – they would come in 2-3 hours later and leave 2-3 hours later….this way, graveyard is supplemented by two extra units each night except the weekends – we have triple squad nights on the weekends so the extra supplement is not needed. And just to let ya know, this is temporary – maybe 8 weeks until the bloom of trainees. Then we can boost up our graveyard squads.

So he implements this by sending an email to the Lieutenants to let their Sergeants know it would be effective next week(he sent this email last week – and was supposed to be implemented on Monday of this week). This email explained his thought processes on this and the other solutions we looked at before implementing this one….well I guess there was a break down of communication because a few of the officers (instead of coming to their Sgt, Lt, me or the boss) took it upon themselves to complain. They went straight to the union without trying to understand the boss’ thought process. They could have asked me. They could have come to the boss. He has an open door policy.

So the union calls him and lets him know people called there complaining. I say, tough! Those people are lucky he didn’t change two squads permanently to those hours. People cry cause we aren’t doing enough to get them more manpower and we find a solution to the problem without having to get more money in our budget and they cry cause it will interrupt their precious lives. My boss has the right to change their hours to anything he fricking (OHHH I wanted to drop an F bomb there) wants and they would have to suck it up.

So to all you who went to the union and cried cause your prima donna life got torqued, here’s some cheese to go with your whine. You know who you are. I’ve expressed myself to you as well.

Until next time…. :)

Things we say when stressed.

THINGS STRESSED WOMEN SAY AT WORK – thanks to Renee for sending me this list!

Okay! Okay! I take it back. Unfuck you. (I’ve never taken it back hahaha when I say that means I mean it!)

You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing. (I’ve said this a few times) :)

Well this day was a total waste of makeup. (I’ve had a few of those days!)

Well, aren’t we a damn ray of sunshine? (I’ve been a ray of sunshine on many days!)

Do I look like a people person? (I’ve never said that…but I have told people to go away and leave me alone haha)

This isn’t an office. It’s hell with flourescent lighting. (I’ve thought it but never said it…and I think just once have I thought that at my new office)

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left. (pretty much everyday hahaha)

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose. (I think popping bubble wrap is GREAT therapy!)

Why don’t you try practicing random acts of intelligence and
senseless acts of self-control? (hahaha I’ve thought along this line in the last two days)

I’m not crazy. I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 30 years. (hahaha that’s just funny!)

Sarcasm is just one more service I offer. (among the many)

Do they ever shut up on your planet? (HAHAHA almost said this one outloud yesterday)

I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable. (well now that’s just mean hahaha)

Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. (I’m not a male hater so I don’t think I’ll ever think or say that)

Wait… I’m trying to imagine you with a personality. (hahaha I’ve thought this one many times…think I’ve said it at least once)

Chaos, panic and disorder… my work here is done. (hahaha yup!)

Ambivalent? Well, yes and no. (hahahahahah)

You look like shit. Is that the style now? (hahaha that’s mean!)

Earth is full. Go home. (ooooh I like this one! will have to remember it!)

I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert. (yup…that was my day yesterday! hahaha)

A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth. (again with the male hater thing…)

You are depriving some village of an idiot (hahaha I’ve wanted to say that many times to some of my coworkers hahaha)

If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport. (woooweee yup!)

Look in my eyes… do you see one ounce of gives-a-shit? (that’s how I was yesterday)

A story I feel like I have to tell.

OK…so I need to tell a story…every year, GASN (Gambler’s Anonymous of Southern Nevada) hosts a one day – all day – mini convention with GamAnon (for the friends and family of us compulsive gamblers)….I did a workshop last year on how I relate music to my recovery…

I chose 5 songs and broke them down on how I felt they related to my life….in this workshop I did a “progression” of sorts…from my diseased thinking to my realizing I needed help and then to my recovery…

so the five songs I chose were “Let You Down” by Three Days Grace; “Breaking the Habit” by Linkin Park; “The Reason” by Hoobastank; “Dare You to Move” by Switchfoot and “You Raise me Up” by Josh Groban.

My friend Todd was at this workshop and he loved my choice of music. He especially loved “You Raise me Up” by Josh Groban. Here’s how I did it…”Let You Down” was my disease talking to me – trying to get me to go back out there and gamble, to make that self destructive decision to turn my life back to hell….

“Breaking the Habit” spoke of me deciding to break the chain of events and the patterns in my life…me – making a decision to save my life and change it for the better….

“The Reason” could go either way hahaha for me, I chose to relate it to how I felt about me….It was my amends song to myself. I found a reason to change and that was me. I realized I deserved so much better than I was allowing myself…..

“Dare You To Move” was used as my dedication to those that I first met in the rooms. They dared me to do something. They dared me to make some healthy choices and change my life….

“You Raise Me Up” was dedicated to all of my friends in the program who have been there for me, who have lifted me up when I couldn’t do it myself…those who wiped my tears, those who gave me their shoulders to cry on. Todd was one of them…Todd, Renee, Melanie, Marjoria, Fred, Mike (several Mikes actually), Sheila, Mary, Beverley, and all those who came before or after me…….the list could go on….This song was for everyone of those people in those rooms who handed me a tissue when I needed it. Who gave me a good ass kicking (verbally) when I needed it.

Todd and I talked about this song before and after I chose it for my workshop. After he passed away (if I have not mentioned it before – he passed away of a massive heart attack at age 39), his parents decided to have a memorial here in town and his mother called me. She asked me …”Sodapop…” OK, please realize I’m keeping the anonymity thing for now! “Todd loved one of the songs you did in a workshop at one of the conventions… do you remember the name of it?” So I went through the list of songs I had done and she shrieked at hearing “You Raise Me Up”….

At the memorial/funeral service, the beginning of July, we were sitting there during the services and after the Pastor was done talking, this song started. This heart wrenching, loving, sad, uplifting song started playing. We were all hysterical I think. So many of us were feeling his loss in similar, yet different ways…(sounds quite familiar with Henry being killed)

I have not been able to listen to this song since. I have changed the channel, I have turned off the CD player, radio, whatever it was that was playing it. I couldn’t do it. At one point, we did some try outs for a GA play that someone is working on and this lady came up there…it was kaoroke try outs…she did Celtic Woman’s version of this song and I thought I was dying. I could feel the pain. I could feel the loss of Todd all over again.

So the real reason of this story is this…I took a hot bubble bath tonight to relax from that horrible day at work I had…and I turned on my CD player…it’s a 3 disc player and so I just hit “random” and it started on the CD I had made for that workshop….I was already stepping into the water and I didn’t want to get up and get cold hahaha so I let it play… when this song came on, I had a wonderful conversation with Todd. Granted, it was a one way conversation (me doing all the talking) and I cried a bit…but I knew he was with me ….I knew for at least 4 minutes, Will was back with Grace…I couldn’t see him, I couldn’t hear his voice…but I knew he was there.

I am grateful I could feel like that. I am grateful I do not forget my pain of the loss. When Todd died, I lost a part of myself. I found a new part of me and I found out a lot about me. He was Will to my Grace and even though I continue living my life and I am happy in my life and I’ve accepted that he is gone……I miss him. Everyday, every minute. I miss having him phsyically in my life where I can hear his voice, see him face to face…

I pray everyday he rests in peace. I know in my heart that he does.

Until next time….

It's almost here! I can hardly contain myself!

BASEBALL IS ALMOST HERE!!!!!

I got this off of FoxSports.com…..

Thursday is the day fans have been waiting for since October: Pitchers and catchers take the field!

WOOHOO!!!

Spring training will have a new twist this year, with Alex Rodriguez, David Ortiz and many major league stars leaving their teams for the first World Baseball Classic. The 16-team tournament runs from March 3-20 and will give the sport something it’s never had – a true world champion.

“It’s an opportunity to try and expand the game globally,” said Yankees captain Derek Jeter, who plans to play for the United States. “I think there’s going to be a lot of interest, especially in some of the countries that haven’t come over to play before. I think it’s great for the game.”

I have to say Baseball season and NASCAR are my faves. Keeps me busy on Sundays (I only watch Nextel Cup races – haven’t been able to get into the Busch thing…) and then I get the baseball package thru Cox so I’ll get to watch a lot of the Yankees games (unless they are playing CA teams…that’s another issue I’m sure I’ll fuss about later hahaha)

Sports sports sports got to love them! I was talking to my friend KP and I can’t even remember what we were talking about but he said to me “Not every woman is a freak for sports like you” and I took that as a compliment! I am a freak for sports, can’t help…just the way I am…don’t plan on changing that anytime soon either! hahaha

Until next time…. :)

Wednesdays wonders #2

Ever sat at your desk and wondered why you do what you do? why you are the way you are? What molded me into the person I am today? Everything I’ve ever been through or done has molded me into the person I am today and personally, I wouldn’t change anything. I’m not one of those people who wish they could go back and do it differently. I believe that I am who I am and I got this way from the experiences of my past. Quite happy with who/how I am today. Well I have no idea where that little dissertation came from…hahaha

So I read the new SI – of course Rick Riley had me laughing and Steve Rushin (he’s another of the writers) had a great article about 5 men who have been to every single SuperBowl…from I to XL. They live in different parts of the country and they plan out their “game” visit with each other. That’s just cool shit man hahaha for 40 years they’ve been going to the SuperBowl…How fun would that be too? woooweeee I’d be in my heyday if I could do that! hahaha

Also in this SI, they have the Transformation of Johnny Damon. Guess he got his poor little itty bitty feelings hurt when the RedSox Nation said he was past his prime and that his best years were behind him. That kind of offended him. I guess it would offend me too if I felt I was not past my prime and that I had a lot of good years left….it’s kind of like sending a horse out to pasture when it’s still got a few good years left…just not right. I hope he kicks ass as a Yankee and shows that RSN(that would be RedSox Nation) that he is still in his prime and has LOTS of good years left.

Akismet Spam…so I have this thing on my Wordpress page – Akismet Spam and it grabs all the things it thinks are spam…now I’ve only ended up with 2 things in there…one from someone who commented on a few posts back at the beginning of the month and there is one in there now – trying to sell me Levitra…now…last I checked, Levitra was for sexual function stuff and since I have NO problem with the function of my sexuality…you know where I’m going with this hahaha So my next question is why do people spam blogs? what’s the point? makes no sense to me…then again…I’m just learning this blog thing…one day I’ll learn as much as my brother or all those other seasoned bloggers out there….

So I thought I was going to have a nice relaxing, slow day at work today…right? Yeah, not so much. It was stressful and I got into an argument with someone over our counts and I was dropping F bombs everywhere! haha I laugh now cause this person has never seen me like this and has NO fricking clue on why I would get upset when she tells me my counts are wrong – when I’ve counted these things 100’s of times and I know how many people we have at this station…we went at it off and on during a 2 hour period of time…it was not fun – but I got my point across! haha

Right when I think I’ve accepted something – something happens and my little pretty world gets rocked (mind you, this is in my head – not literally haha)….acceptance, respect and allowing others to be who they are. Perfect example: the story above – I went off on this chick for questioning my work. I didn’t like that cause 1st of all, she and I have been friends for a long time and now she’s in a position when she gets to instruct me on how to my job. This is a little new for both of us. Guess we’ll get through it!

Until next time …. :)

My thoughts on Grey's Anatomy! and a few others!

****SPOILER ALERT!!!!*****SPOILER ALERT!!!***
If you watch Grey’s Anatomy and you have not seen the latest episode, don’t read this cause I’m talking about it and I’m going into detail!

OK so it only took me 3 days, I finally watched the recorded episode of Grey’s Anatomy. I’m just now finishing crying. It was an awesome episode! I think I mentioned the live ammunition thing where Meredith had her hand in the guy keeping it steady? (Yeah, I know….but it’s a TV show – get over it)

so…the bomb squad guy was driving her nuts cause he was kinda bossy and mean to her…so they get to a point where they open the guy up a bit and Meredith can remove her hand WITH the ammunition thing…..so she hands the thing over to the bomb squad dude….he starts walking out….and it’s all in slow motion….he gets out into the hallway and they show him approaching another bomb squad guy and Meredith (for whatever insanity is going thru her head) follows….and the BAM!!! the damn thing blew up and blew up the cutey bomb squad guy with it….Meredith went flying back…

Anyway…so between the beginning and the ending, O’Malley had to convince Bailey to push (she is in labor)…So then McDreamy finds out that it’s Meredith with her hand in the guy and he freaks out (he’s really in love with her – yet married to Addison hahahahaha) Christina tells Burke she loves him while he’s sleeping (wimpy way to do it – but whatever works, right?) And Burke was the hero of the episode I believe – he was pretty good.

so now that I’ve talked about my soap opera hahaha And here I was all proud that I don’t watch soap operas (I guess now it’s just the ones in the day time I don’t watch hahaha) As I typed that whole commentary on the show – I realized how soap operaish it really is hahaha Then again, what TV show isn’t a soap opera in some way? haha love triangles, things blowing up, people dying, crying and laughing….

This day is almost over and for that I’m happy! My good friend RC was the victim of road rage tonight…some guy freaked out on her and then ran her off the road….so right before she called 911, the guy was standing over her car window screaming at her and her 16 year old daughter….she flipped her phone open, he started screaming “what are you gonna do, call the cops?” and she said “actually I was calling my friend” yeah that would be me! and then he started screaming at her “don’t you know who I am” , etc etc…so then she told him she was calling me (who happens to work for the police)….so then he called 911 in the middle of her calling 911 and he told the dispatcher that she had told him her brother was a Sergeant at Metro….so RC tells the dispatcher, “no I did not say that…I said my BEST friend is the…” and she told the dispatcher where I work and who I am…so then the dispatcher sent 3 units (unk trouble, RC was crying and panicked)…so they calmed her down, helped her out and then told the guy to go away. There was really no crime committed – he didn’t hit her or her car (he just got really super close and forced her off the road)….

So then I sit and wonder…cause she called me back and asked if I had minded that she dropped my name. I told her that she was scared, I was the only person she knew of and no I did not mind she had told the dispatcher who I was. She didn’t tell the freak who I was – she only told the dispatcher. I see no problem with it. Wasn’t a major issue and she was scared. I was halfway out the door when she told me the units responded. I was going off half cocked getting ready to roll down there. What was I gonna do? hahaha She was a good 30 minutes from where I’m at and I just started laughing at myself. I get so protective of my friends with stuff like this…I just wanted to kick some butt.

I am going to find out who the dispatchers and officers were and send them a thank you – just for helping her out when she was so panicked. I couldn’t imagine having some freak screaming at me like that and forcing me off the road…I would have been scared too!

Until next time…. :)