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Archive for March, 2007

Root canals suck ass

I just thought I’d share that with you. However, I do have to say it wasn’t the actual root canal that sucks. It’s the aftermath. The Endodontist numbed me up really well and I did not feel anything. My jaw was really sore when they were done, but that’s cause he ran into some problems during the root canal. GREAT.

I go back on the 9th for him to finish the root canal and for the dentist to fit me for a crown. There is a problem in the root where the nerve starts to grow OUTSIDE of the root canal/tooth area into the gum. OUCH. The root is actually calcified on one side due to this.

The cause, you ask? When I had my wisdom teeth extracted, they “nicked” the tooth and this caused the nerve/root to grow outside of the canal it normally grows in. How great for me! There is a possibility I will continue to have trouble with this tooth, even after they finish the root canal cause he can’t get to the other part to kill the nerve/root of the tooth. I may eventually have to have it extracted.

I told them if there’s a chance I won’t have any problems, let’s continue the root canal. IF it’s going to cause me pain, pull the fucker now. I’m so not into pain.

I made it all the way through to the 5th inning of the game last night and then had to come home. My jaw was REALLY hurting by then. I got home and slept until about 7 this morning. I forced myself to stay in bed until 8am hahah

Today, I have a birthday party for some twins who are turning 5. They are the daughters of my best friend KP that always helps me and mom out around the house. Right now I’m going to get dressed and go to the gym – do whatever I can before my jaw starts hurting haha

Tonight I have the 6pm GA meeting that I chair and then that will be my Saturday. I have no other plans for the weekend, other than to watch the NASCAR race tomorrow.

Until next time…

What a sap

I got up early this morning so I could do a few things before the root canal today at noon.

I have about 9 things I need to ship off that I sold on e-Bay. I also need to pick up a package there at the post office. I ordered the two tickets to the Cubs/Mariners game for tonight. They tried to deliver on Wednesday, but we missed the mailman. So I have to go down there and sign for it. WOOT!!!

I made some coffee, and I noticed something else. I’m getting a little jittery and I know it’s cause I’m so used to having a cigarette with my coffee. I’ve kept myself busy and I’m not smoking. I don’t WANT to smoke anymore. I don’t care that I’m addicted, I don’t care if I go into a bit of withdrawal, I don’t WANT to do it anymore. Another test of my will power will be when I get into my car to go down to the post office (it doesn’t open until 8:30).

Whenever I get into my car, I smoke. First thing. It will be interesting to see how that goes haha.

I guess I should explain the post title. I was watching the Today show this morning (since I’m awake so fricking early) and there was a story of a US Sailor who came home from Iraq and decided to surprise his 6 year old son while he was in school. So they show the sailor walking in and then they pan the camera to the boy’s face and he just started running towards his dad and crying. It was soooooo sweeet!!! I, of course, being the sap that I am, started to cry immediately. The dad just held his son and the boy kept crying. *sigh* I don’t know how to link to the URL for the video, but you can find it at MSNBC.com.

Nothing new to report. Haven’t gotten much response on Match.com – then again, I haven’t really delved totally into it either. One guy emailed me and I emailed him back. We’ll see. I’m trying REALLY hard to become enthusiastic about this online dating thing. Seriously.

Until next time…

FOAD Thursday

Here we go again. Another week has passed and I’m having trouble remember who/what has pissed me off. I’m sure someone has. I’m sure something has. I just can’t currently think of what has really pissed me off enough to send out some FOADs.

I could send a FOAD to my teeth cause I’m about to have a root canal and I hate them. I’m scared shitless about tomorrow’s procedure and it irritates me.

I could send a FOAD to my morbid curiousity cause I’ve learned the hard way that curiousity kills the Kat (haha). Ya know?

I could send out a FOAD to people who have no idea how to drive, merge or generally be a good driver. I’ve seen people putting on make up. I’ve seen people on their cell phones cut people off while driving (including me). They get so caught up in their conversation on the phone, they fail to look to see if anyone is in the lane they want. Oops.

I could send out a FOAD to snotty people. Especially those who get it in their heads they are better than anyone else. Especially those who are so snobbish, don’t even talk to people unless they are rich, have a degree in some science or kiss their ass so much, their noses have turned brown from the ass kissin.

I could send a FOAD to some men in the world (please note I said SOME – not all). I am not a man hater and I am not a man basher. I believe the assholes of the world are both male and female.

I guess that’s my FOAD for the week. On a lighter note, I got in contact with the people planning my 20 year high school reunion and before I could help myself, I volunteered to help the planning. *sigh* Hopefully they don’t take me up on that. hahaha

Until next time….

Insane in the membrane

I mentioned in a previous post that my morbid curiousity got the better of me, but I was feeling better.

OK, I don’t think I was REALLY feeling better. I haven’t been sleeping very well the last week (moreso than usual) and I’ve had trouble figuring out why. Well, last night I figured it out. I woke up from a nightmare about my previous post mentioned above.

I talked to my boss about it today, cause he’s much like me when it comes to emotional stuff like this. We chatted a few minutes and then (being the caretaker that he is) called his friend who is a therapist and set up an appointment for me to go talk about the trauma I felt from looking at the pictures of Henry in the morgue. I let him because I think it will be a good idea.

I have to tell you something. It haunts me. Actually THEY haunt me. The images. The pictures of the wounds just made me sick to my stomach and I see it in my mind like I’m looking at the picture again. I would try to describe them too you, but I don’t want to leave you with that image. It’s bad enough I am left with those images.

I really did a number on myself here. GAH! I tend to push it to the back of my mind most of the time, just cause I know I have to do that in order to get through my day without curling up in a little ball in the corner of my office, ya know?

I could be going crazy. Then again, I’ve been a little insane for a few years, so it wouldn’t surprise me if I am going over the edge. Even though I don’t FEEL like I’m going over the edge, ya know? The Lexapro and Ativan REALLY help with that.

Thanks for reading my little rant here. I’ll be OK, no one worry about me going over the edge. I’m being a little sarcastic here. Even though, the therapist thing I’m not kidding about. I’m ready to get rid of these images (if there’s a way to do that) I forced upon myself. OH, did I mention I even looked at our old high school yearbooks? Didn’t work. Therapy here I come!

Until next time….

What to do what to do

Ever have one of those mornings where you just could NOT drag your ass out of bed? Even though you knew the longer you lay there, the later you’re going to be and the less prep time you’ll have? Yeah. I had one of those mornings.

I could not, for the life of me drag my ass out of bed when my alarm went off at 440 this morning. I reset it for 515. Even that didn’t help, I reset it for 6am. However, I crawled outta bed at 540, cause I just knew if I kept putting it off, I’d end up in bed all day, rather than go to work.

I’m waiting to hear from the people doing the planning on my high school reunion. 20 years. Yeeesh. I can’t believe it’s been so long. Sometimes it seems like a lifetime ago and other times it feels like yesterday. I’ve come a long way, that’s for sure!

I have my own coffee maker in my office at work. It’s fairly old, but it works, ya know? Well it’s started to leak hot coffee everywhere and when I pour it into the cup, it just goes everywhere. I may have to invest in a new one for here at work. *sigh* Like I’m not spending enough money on other shit I HAVE to spend money on, right? You know, mortgage, bills, dental bills, etc.

I used to let days like this get ruined for me when shit went wrong. You know, waking up late, hitting all that nasty ass traffic on the way here, coffee maker acting all funky and then walking in with nothing to do at work. It would just put me into a pisser of a mood and I’d be miserable alllllll day long. Today, however, I’m going to work on something new and not let those negative/silly things ruin the rest of my day. Wish me luck!

The weather sucks ass. It went from being 80-83 down to fucking 49 degrees this morning when I left my house. And it’s still close to that 49, maybe a few degrees warmer. It didn’t get above 55 yesterday and it rained and sleeted and hailed on the west end of town. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?! The weather needs to shape the fuck up. I’m tired of it. I’m ready for warmth. I’m so cold this morning I am shivering. I turned the heat up, I have a sweater on. Don’t know what else to do. *sigh*

Hope I’m not getting sick! I have a root canal Friday at noon and a major league baseball game at 7:05. No getting sick allowed! Must go find my Airborne.

Until next time….

LVHS Class of 1987

OK, for those of you Vegans who read this blog (I don’t think there are that many, but who knows). The Class of 1987 Las Vegas High School Wildcats have finally set a date for their 20 year High School Reunion.

It’s set for 10/19/07. If you need the contact information, send me a message and I’ll get it to you after confirming you went to high school with us. I’m not suspicious at all. Nope, not me!

Thanks! Until next time….

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

As the day approaches, I begin to fear failure on Friday. There are three major things happening in my life that day. Here’s the list:

1. I wake up a non smoker for the first time in YEARS. Thursday I will have my last cigarette before going to bed. This scares the snot out of me. However, this is the good part of the three in the title. Once I quit smoking, I will slowly begin to heal my lungs, heart and any other body part/organ that has been negatively effected by my smoking for the last 25 years. It’s a crutch I’m letting go of and will walk without it for the first time since I was 12. It’s exciting and scary all at the same time.

2. I have a noon appointment with the dentist for a root canal. This is the ugly part. I am placing it 2nd here though. Get used to it. I will finally have that bottom left tooth taken care of and we can focus on the next. One tooth at a time here folks. Much like in recovery, One Day At A Time. This is one tooth at a time. LOL. I’m scared because I’m generally fearful of all dental tools from the needle with the novacaine in it to the picks they use to clean the teeth. Something I’ll just have to face. Thank God for Ativan.

3. I have 2 tickets to the Major League Weekend this Friday night. The game starts at 705. That will give me however long after the root canal until about 6. My friend SG and I will leave from their house and he’s driving, cause I’m taking my Darvocet with me – in case I feel horrid. This is the bad. I’m going to feel like shit at the game. I am going to get to see the Cubs and the Mariners in person for the first time ever and I’m going to POSSIBLY feel like shit. I’ll be taking some ibuprofen RIGHT AFTER the root canal – just so when the novacaine wears off it won’t be so bad. Wish me luck on that.

The difference between this fear and the fear I used to feel before going into recovery is that, this time I know what to do with the feelings. #1 – Let myself feel them because I have a right to do that. #2 – talk about it, which I’m doing and #3 – pray and let it go.

Until next time….

Pimpin’ ain’t easy, ya know?

***This is no longer a sticky post. For new and exciting news from the life of Sodapop, please scroll up!!***

One of the conditions of my brother helping me out constantly on this here blog, was that I pimp his services a bit. I realized last night, that I have not done that in a while.

Over at Second Rate Hosting, he has all kinds of hosting packages and even some themes for blogs or regular webpages.

Over at his regular site Slobokan’s Site o’ Schtuff, he has his design portfolio for your viewing pleasure.

Slobokan is very good at what he does. He’s very professional and he rocks when it comes to designing. You can see here at the Soda Stand. He did this design and he did my holiday theme I had during the holidays. Last time I checked, he was working on a baseball (actually a Girl for NYY type theme for me for baseball season) theme. You can also go ask Fantastagirl about his services, he did that design as well.

Go visit him at Slobokan’s Site O’Schtuff and look at his design portfolio. You just may decide you need a new theme for your blog or business webpage!

Wooooweeeee! Folks, let me just tell ya….Pimpin’ ain’t easy!!!

My Saturday night adventure

I was supposed to go to a wedding last night, and did not go. *sigh* I need to call and apologize for not being there.

Instead, I went to a GA meeting and after that went to eat. Once I was done eating, I met a couple girls over at Harrah’s Carnival Court. I walked in there and it immediately reminded me of the old days at the Beach Nightclub. The music, the atmosphere. I liked it.

I got a shot of tequila and a beer. When I did the shot of tequila, some of it spilled onto my chin and cheeks. Some guy next to us offered me his shirt sleeve, so I wiped my face on his sleeve. HAHAHA

After that, The Sleeve Guy and I were pretty much inseparable. We were flirting, laughing, talking, getting to know each other. He was pretty cool, asked for my phone number too.

As the night progressed, the flirting got a little “dirty” if ya know what I mean. He made it known he wanted to have sex with me. How flattering. Seriously, I was very flattered.

As you all know, I’ve been struggling in changing my way and changing the way I do things. I was trying to make sure I did NOT go home with anyone last night. And The Sleeve Guy was making it quite difficult.

We went back and forth talking about it for a bit and then I said fuck it. I’m single. I want to have sex, why not? Right? We leave the Carnival Court, headed to my car. His car is parked at the Excalibur, so I offered to give him a lift over there. Once we got into my car, he was all over me and suddenly wanted to have sex right then and there.

HUH? In the car? “Yes” was his response. I said I don’t have sex in cars, I’m 37 fucking years old, not 17. He asked me if I was morally against it. I told him it had nothing to do with morals. I just would not do it. He asked if I was sure, I said yes. He got out of my car and walked off. There was a lot more verbal back and forth before he left. Last time I saw The Sleeve Guy. Good riddance.

What I find so incredibly fulfilling about that situation is that I stood up for myself and I refused to compromise just because the guy wanted me to compromise. I didn’t have a problem going somewhere to have sex with him, but I refused to have it in my car.

And now in the light of day, I’m glad the whole thing didn’t happen. I would have regretted having sex with him. I’m trying to change things like this in my life and that would have set me back emotionally. So I’m extremely grateful it didn’t happen.

I went to the gym to see “E” for my workout. It’s getting way easier and I’m really noticing a difference in my stamina while doing cardio workouts. He’s going to be upping the weights next Saturday when I see him. Between now and then, I’ll be going in there on Tuesday and Thursday.

I’m getting a root canal Friday and going to a MLB game at Cashman Field that night. I’m going to go pick up a friend and he’s going to drive – that way if I need to take my drugs, I can hahaha No hot dogs and beer for me, but I’ll be snapping pictures of the players. Alfonso Soriano, Ichiro, Sexson, and all those others. I’m not a big fan of Chicago Cubs or Seattle Mariners (that would be why I don’t really know their names), but damn! It’s baseball!!!!!!!

Until next time….

Time to put myself out there

I’ve single a long time. I’ve had my share of one night stands or just sexual relationships. And I’m done. It’s time to move forward and get what I want and deserve. I’d like a healthy relationship and I know it will take some work to get there.

So I started thinking about the dating prospects in my life. Either cops or recovering compulsive gamblers. Hmmm I wouldn’t mind dating one or two of the cops I’ve worked with before, but they seem to just want the sexual relationship thing. I know I deserve more than that, so I don’t go there now. I used too though. As for the fellow GA members, it feels weird and so I doubt I’ll do that one unless something surprises me.

I don’t like to go out to nightclubs or bars to meet people. The ultimate question is, if I want to meet someone I have to put myself out there. If I don’t enjoy going out to meet people in those places, how do I put myself out there?

A few years ago I delved into the world of online dating. I was on several different sites and I did not get the response I wanted. Actually, I met some really creepy people on the sites and so I just stopped going to them and unsubscribed to their services.

That led me to a condundrum of what to do. I started praying about it a few weeks ago and I journaled a bit. I made the decision this morning, after sleeping on it and asking for guidance. I signed up for Match.com again. My mind is open to all possibilities and I’m ready to take the plunge back into the world of online dating.

I have some concerns about meeting up with some creepy people again, but the concern is not enough to keep me from trying it again. I’m putting myself out there and I’m ready. Wish me luck!

Until next time…