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Archive for May, 2007

Me and my music!

I saw something over at Mushy’s place, but I’m going to do it a little differently than he did (just cause I can). This is a long post, bare with me, mmmkay?

The top 40 singles the year I turned 18 (1987) and how I feel about some of them (I’m not going to talk about all of them – that would take me too long)

This is the site I found my list on. What I’ve done is ERASE the songs I don’t want to talk about or have nothing to say about. But I’m keeping the original number next to them.

1. Living On A Prayer – Bon Jovi I was (OK, still am) a HUGE HUGE HUGE Bon Jovi fan.
3. (I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life – Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes damn, it’s 20 years old already? That means Dirty Dancing is 20. sheeesh
6. Always – Atlantic Starr Loved this song!!!!
8. La Bamba – Los Lobos I loved this song when I thought it was Lou Diamond Phillips singing it in the movie. And then I learned.
9. You Can Call Me Al – Paul Simon this was the MOST annoying song. But I LOVED the video with Chevy Chase!
11. Faith – George Michael Ahhh, my boy George Michael! Loved him in Wham! disliked him outside of Wham!
14. It’s Tricky – Run DMC It’s tricky to rock around to rock around that’s right on time it’s tricky. heehee Love me some Run DMC
17. I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – U2 Is it a crime that I’m probably one of the only children of the 80’s who disliked U2?
18. Girls, Girls, Girls – Motley Crew oooh I love me some Nikki Sixx
20. (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party) – Beastie Boys I didn’t really like this song, but I love the Beasties
24. Brass Monkey – Beastie Boys speaking of which! This is one of my fave Beastie songs.
27. Girls – Beastie Boys see above
33. Casanova – Levert oh man, I loved listening to Levert back in the day. Definitely some great make out music
36. Let’s Wait Awhile – Janet Jackson When Janet truly rocked my socks. Love her.
40. Shake You Down – Gregory Abbott one of my favorite songs of all time. Very sexy, good make out/sex song

And if you care, here is the full list of the Greatest Hits of the year I turned 18. There are 75 songs here.

1. Living On A Prayer – Bon Jovi
2. Mony Mony – Billy Idol (1st released in 1981)
3. (I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life – Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes
4. Lean On Me – Club Nouveau
5. Songbird – Kenny G
6. Always – Atlantic Starr
7. Oh Yeah – Yello
8. La Bamba – Los Lobos
9. You Can Call Me Al – Paul Simon
10. With Or Without You – U2
11. Faith – George Michael
12. Don’t Give Up – Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush
13. Bad – Michael Jackson
14. It’s Tricky – Run DMC
15. You Got It All – the Jets
16. U Got The Look – Prince
17. I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – U2
18. Girls, Girls, Girls – Motley Crew
19. Didn’t We Almost Have It All – Whitney Houston
20. (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party) – Beastie Boys
21. Keep Your Hands To Yourself – Georgia Satellites
22. I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) – Whitney Houston
23. The Lady In Red – Chris Deburgh
24. Brass Monkey – Beastie Boys
25. La Isla Bonita – Madonna
26. Funky Town – Pseudo Echo
27. Girls – Beastie Boys
28. Wanted Dead Or Alive – Bon Jovi
29. The Final Countdown – Europe
Apple iTunes
30. True Faith – New Order
31. Open Your Heart – Madonna
32. Where The Streets Have No Name – U2
33. Casanova – Levert
34. Looking For A New Love – Jody Watley
35. In Too Deep – Genesis
36. Let’s Wait Awhile – Janet Jackson
37. Tonight, Tonight, Tonight – Genesis
38. Somewhere Out There – Linda Ronstadt & James Ingram
39. Rhythm Is Gonna Get You – Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine
40. Shake You Down – Gregory Abbott
41. Talk Dirty To Me – Poison
42. Big Time – Peter Gabriel
43. The Finer Things – Steve Winwood
44. Land of Confusion – Genesis
45. Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now – Starship
46. Luka – Suzanne Vega
47. Dude (Looks Like A Lady) – Aerosmith
48. Touch Me (I Want Your Body) – Samantha Fox
49. Moonlightong Theme – Al Jarreau
50. Heart and Soul – T’ Pau
51. Heartbreak Beat – Psychedelic Furs
52. Caught Up In The Rapture – Anita Baker
53. Come Go With Me – Expose
54. Can’t We Try – Dan Hill and Vonda Sheppard
55. Day In, Day Out – David Bowie
56. Don’t Leave Me This Way – Communards
57. Fascinated – Company B
58. Boom Boom (Let’s Go Back To My Room) – Paul Lekakis
59. I’m No Angel – Gregg Allman Band
60 Only In My Dreams – Debbie Gibson
61. Touch of Grey – Grateful Dead
62. When Smokey Sings – ABC
63. I Just Can’t Stop Loving You – Michael Jackson
64. Graceland – Paul Simon
65. At This Moment – Billy Vera and the Beaters
66. World Shut Your Mouth – Julian Cope
67. Heart and Soul – The Monkees
68. Why Can’t I Be You – The Cure
69. Learning To Fly – Pink Floyd
70. Downtown Train – Patty Smyth
71. Catch Me I’m Falling – Pretty Poison
72. Heaven Is A Place On Earth – Belinda Carlisle
73. I Want Your Sex – George Michael
74. Point Of No Return – Expose
75. I Think We’re Alone Now – Tiffany

No such thing as speech that is free

Now don’t get your panties in a bunch. I’m watching Jarhead and that is one of my favorite lines in the movie.

I had a very uneventful day. Besides burning my tongue and mouth, getting my finger caught between a table and a chair and wishing my knee cap would just pop off so it would stop hurting…nothing happened.

I came home early, put my feet up and iced the knee. 20 minutes with ice, 20 without, 20 minutes with, 20 without, etc etc. Boring.

I’m getting frustrated cause I can’t find my step work book I’ve been looking for. I think it must be in a box in the bottom of my closet somewhere. I’ll have to empty the fucker out this weekend or when my knee is better.

I took a bunch more pictures and have posted them on my Flickr badge. I have a total of 707 photos on there. WOW!!! I take a lot of pictures.

I’m sure I’ll be taking more. Lots more. I’m recharging the battery right now, it was quite low when I finally downloaded the last set of pictures. This camera is going to ROCK when I go to San Diego!!! WOOHOO!

Not much more to say, except I’m tired and exhausted and kind of glad this day is over! One more game of Bubble Bobble and then off to bed.

Until next time….

Technorati Tags: pictures

A few things I’ve learned this week

As hump day arrives and we get closer to Friday, I’ve noticed there are several things I’ve already learned this week and part of last week during my mental meltdown. I need to learn how to do bullet points.

* GA never ceases to amaze me. I had an issue, I took it to meeting level and I got some GREAT feedback and suggestions on how to deal with it.

* It’s OK to feel whatever it is I’m feeling. As long as I continue doing the next right thing for me and my life, without running away from what I’m feeling, I’ll be fine.

* You can burn your tongue and lips HORRIBLY on coffee if you aren’t careful while taking a sip.

* You can cry like a bitch when you get your ring finger stuck between the edge of a table and a chair arm.

* You can take 104 pictures within a few hours time without realizing you took 104 pictures.

* Some of my co-workers rock

* I have 20 days until I go to San Diego for 6 days.

* I’m still searching for my step work books that I have so I can start working on my steps again with my sponsor.

* I feel more rejuvinated about the program than I have in 2 years.

* Todd would have turned 41 on May 19. Todd would have 6 years of abstinence on 6/3.

* I’ll be driving back from San Diego on the 2 year anniversary of his death. I may come back one day earlier so I’m not alone that day

* My best friend “T” rocks. She’s such a good friend and will always take care of me when I need her.

* My Higher Power does not bring me to a situation without walking me through that situation. He only gives me what he knows I’m strong enough to handle.

* I still have faith that our house will sell

* Cookies N Cream flavored Drumstick ice cream things are dangerous, sinful and the best fucking dessert I’ve ever had.

* When my boss is not at work, I’m even more bored than when he is here.

* My new camera rocks

Until next time….

I love my new camera!!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I love four day weekends.

The post title has NOTHING to do with what I’m talking about today. Happy Memorial Day everyone, I thank every person who has died so that I may live in freedom and safety.

There are a few blogs that I absolutely, must make sure I read everyday. Overheard in New York is one of them.

Sometimes I’ll wait a few days, because then there will be LOTS of posts on this blog so I can sit and read and laugh my ass off. Today, I’m reading my bloglines and there were 24 posts on Overheard in NY and I was just thrilled.

From this blog, I sometimes get words of wisdom that I can use or that I 100% agree with. Most of the time, I just laugh so hard, I either cry or snort or both. Imagine that.

If, for any reason, a Jesus freak (or anyone else for that matter) tells you that you will go to hell in a handbasket, here is your response.

Does anyone have a Prada handbag I can borrow?

About 2 years ago, I opened a Dell Preferred account so that I could buy my laptop. Since that time, Dell has “upped” my credit line and given me more money to play with on their website. Yeehaw, right?

I avoided using that extra credit for over a year now. I avoided it and ignored it and then the other day I was looking around on their site, cause I got one of their newsletter thingies in email. I found out that Dell carries the camera I want. Dell carries the camera I want. Did I make that clear?

A few days ago, I ordered the camera I want. It’s a Canon Rebel XTi digital camera, with a 18-55mm lense. It has 10.1 megapixels. My Dell payment will go up by about 30 dollars a month. Well worth it for the quality of pictures I will begin to be able to take.

I’ll also be able to take it to San Diego with me, and so my pictures will be CRAZAY hot when I take them.

Was it an impulse buy? Of course it was. Do I have buyers remorse? Not in the slightest. I can NOT wait to get this camera. The Photo Lab supervisor is going to help me learn how to use all the special features n shit – that way it doesn’t take me a year to learn how to use the fucker.

I have it shipping to my work addy because mom and I seem to miss all the FedEx and UPS drivers. There’s about 2-3 hours of the day when neither of us are home and that seems to be the time they try to deliver shit.

Did I tell you when I go to San Diego in 22 days I’m dragging my friend Lockheed to a Padres/Red Sox game. I’ll be cheering for the Padres for two different reasons. #1 – it’s their house and it’s only respectful that if they aren’t playing the Yankees, I would want them to win and #2 – the Red Sox. GAH. Give me a break, did you think I would EVER cheer for them?

Until next time….

I just wanted to point this out..

Someone from Monterey Park, CA used google search for “sucking out pee” and stayed on my blog for 38 minutes or more, and out clicking to a few of my blogroll.

All I can say to that is….WTF?!?!?!?!

thanks, that is all.

Strange people in this world.

As I was sitting around bored most of the day with a lack of caffeine headache (I’m out of coffee ~ too lazy to go get more) I realized there are strange people in this world.

As you know, I’m on several different online dating services. And some of the guys who have contacted me have NO clue how to speak (or write) in English. They don’t know how to put a sentence together, let alone say something intelligible that I can read. So I ignore them and delete them.

And then there is the searches I get for my blog:

transvestite scat What the FUCK is that? I don’t even know what it is and they found MY blog from it?

shoe fetish Everyone knows I love shoes. I don’t know that I would call it a shoe fetish though.

foot fetish Could be about when I used to do “Foot Fetish Friday” Dunno what this is all about.

kimi clit piercing First of all, WHO THE HELL is kimi? And second, seriously?

sunny days seem to hurt the most lyrics from Kenny Chesney’s song Who You’d Be Today.

I’ve had my moments lyrics from Emerson Drive’s song Moments

dawn prendes the widow of Sgt. Henry Prendes

sunset sex I had two searches, one from Iran and one from Bucharest. Sounds interesting, don’t ya think?

And my favorite that I get over and over:

shoe fuck Could someone explain that one to me? I mean, seriously, I could let my imagination run with it, but that’s just gross and makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

It’s taken me a few days, but I’m back to feeling a little normal (normal for me anyway) and I’m feeling much more emotionally stable. Acceptance is a crazy thing. Powerlessness and Acceptance go hand in hand. Once I accept I’m powerless over a situation, the rest falls into place. I’m still feeling a tad bit of the “fuckits” but that’s because it’s almost summer and I have 24 days until I go to San Diego again to see my friend Lockheed.

I’m going alone this time. I’m going to take the opportunity of any alone time I have to meditate, pray and journal. I need some Sodapop time and it will give me that while I’m there.

Until next time….

Technorati Tags: stoopid stuff, searches, recovery

Some of my faves

I don’t have much to say right now, so I’m leaving you with some of my fave pics while I go to the gym and sweat.

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Lahaina, Maui

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Maui coastline

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
lightning strike

Dedication Friday

I haven’t done one of these for awhile. This song is definitely all about me. The only part NOT about me is “I’m a mother.” For obvious reasons. I bolded three parts of this song that fit the way I’m feeling today. Enjoy

Meredith Brooks ~ Bitch

I hate the world today
You’re so good to me
I know but I can’t change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I’m an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you’d be so confused
I don’t envy you
I’m a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

I’m a bitch, I’m a lover
I’m a child, I’m a mother
I’m a sinner, I’m a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I’m your hell, I’m your dream
I’m nothing in between
You know you wouldn’t want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean
You’ll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I’m going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won’t mean a thing


Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season’s already changing
I think it’s cool, you do what you do
And don’t try to save me


I’m a bitch, I’m a tease
I’m a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I’m your angel undercover
I’ve been numb, I’m revived
Can’t say I’m not alive

You know I wouldn’t want it any other way

The next question would be, now what?

I’ve vented all my anger I think. I don’t feel as angry as I did yesterday. Actually, I don’t feel angry at all right now. I’m still frustrated about the house and the situation we are in, but no more anger.

Anger does nothing but lead me down a path I do not want to go. I went to my best friend’s house today after work. I just needed to be around her and her sons. It was very healing for me. I got to vent and talk and cry. It felt good. I miss her when I don’t get to see her.

I still have a bit of the “fuckits” but not in the way of wanting to gamble. I don’t want to ever go back to that life. I have choices today and I need to remember that. As long as I keep making myself choose. Do I want to learn to deal with this in a healthy way or do I want to run and hide like I used too? Personally, I believe choosing to deal with it will be better in the long run. I feel it.

I have faith my Higher Power did not bring me to this situation and abandon me. I believe He will see me through it. The Higher Power I believe in would never lead me somewhere and not lead me through it.

Thanks to everyone who left words of encouragement. I appreciate all of them and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. This too shall pass.

I was going to go to the gym after leaving my best friends, but I suddenly just wanted to come home, be alone and nap off and on while laying on the couch. And then I remembered I don’t have internet on my laptop anymore cause I canceled the DSL and got cable modem.

I need to figure out how to get that shit back cause I love sitting on the couch and cruising the internet on my laptop. Makes things so much more convenient, really.

I watched the season finale to Lost and all I have to say is: WHAT A WAY TO MAKE ME ANXIOUS FOR NEXT SEASON!!!!! Holy cow!!! It soooo rocked!!! It was, by far, the best episode of the season. Figures, doesn’t it?

Grey’s Anatomy ended with a fizzle and Lost ended with a bang. I’ll still watch Grey’s next season. It’s my favorite show besides Heroes, ya know. The Heroes finale was awesome.

I saw the video for Moments by Emerson Drive today. WOW! This song makes me cry anyway. After watching the video I was sobbing. It has nothing to do with how emotionally unstable I am right now.

I’m not even off my meds. The doctor still has me on the Ativan at the same dosage and the Lexapro every other day, so it’s all still rolling around in there. I wonder if I’m PMS’n too. That would just suck.

Until next time…..

Technorati Tags: thanks, now what?, TV, anger