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Archive for June, 2007

I want one

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Nathan Fillion from the Firefly TV series and the Serenity movie. He also played Caleb in the last season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I want one.

Feeling better and loving the weekends.

Over on Facebook, I added the biorhythms application to my profile. It gives me a daily “reflection” of how my day is going to be. It has yet to be wrong. Unfortunately. LOL

Sodapop’s biorhythms:
Physical: You’re far from your physical peak. Don’t overdo it. (-63 % and falling.)
Emotional: Feeling a little bit jaded. (-22 % and falling.)
Intellectual: Tasks requiring brain power aren’t going to be easy. (-54 % but rising.)

While I was in San Diego, the “Intellectual” part was way way low like at -100% and boy did I notice it. I did some stupid shit while I was down there. Just silly things really. You know, like walking into the foot stool in Lock’s living room and bruising my two little toes. Or getting lost just by going north on the 805 and trying to get back. OK, I had ONLY gone north on the 805…all I had to do was go SOUTH on the 805. And I got lost. Silly things like that.

I’m in a better mood today than I was yesterday. I’m not so mad about that shit at work anymore. Right after I posted that “complaint” I was feeling better. My whole body aches from the workout yesterday, but that’s OK. I can deal with that.

I have NO plans for today until later. I’ll chair my meeting from 6pm to 7:30pm and then I’m going to meet some old friends from the Multi Comm days and we are going to go dancing at Chrome in the Santa Fe. There’s a top 40 band that plays from 9 until 11pm.

I’m going to do a whole lot of nothing today. Maybe just some laundry or something. We’ll see!

Until next time…

I have a complaint

I wasn’t going to post this here because some people from work read this blog. But ya know what? I’m just pissed off enough to not give a fuck.

When I first got promoted in May of 2003 to Administrative Assistant, I got a SHITTY Captain. He was an asshole. He yelled at me, he told me since I have tattoos, I deserve to be destroyed (per the bible), he told me I was worthless, told me I didn’t know what I was doing, etc.

At 4 months of working with that asshat, I tried to transfer out, there was a new Captain getting promoted and I wanted to transfer over….I tried to file a hostile work environment complaint along with religious harassment

I was told several things

1. He’s been on the department 25 years, how can I expect him to change over night? (he ws 50 fucking years old, he should know better)

2. I’m still on probation and they don’t allow civilians to transfer while on probation (our probations are 12 months long)

3. There was not enough of a diversity issue to move me (which was bullshit, can you say “good ole boys”)

4. There was nowhere to put me if they did remove me from the situation (which is bullshit – the guy was getting promoted – I could have gone there within a month)

OK, so that being said, I suffered through 1 year and 4 months of this fucktard telling me how worthless I was and how “evil” I was cause of my tattoos (I had one at the time he first said it and went and got 2 more just to spite the fucker and showed em off too)

Now….a group of women just recently got promoted to AA, they haven’t even been an AA for a month yet. One of them is being allowed to transfer becauser her current Captain is retiring (this does NOT piss me off)

The other two who are getting ready to transfer have no other reason to transfer other than they WANT to transfer and work with someone different.

Personnel is right now debating on letting them transfer for that stupid ass fucking reason.

I told my best friend I’d probably lose my fucking mind if any of them (excep the girl with the retiring boss) is allowed to transfer.

Maybe I’m just bitter (don’t be afraid to tell me if that’s how this seems) or something but damn that shit pisses me off. Here I was in a situation that was HELL for 16 months and they wouldn’t let me transfer. GAH!!!!!

I’m so glad I’m leaving in 2 1/2 months from this job. It’s the first time I’ve been pissed off enough to say I’m glad I’m leaving this job. I’ve been saying I’m glad I’m leaving Las Vegas, but leaving the job was going to be the hardest (besides moving away from mom and my friends.) Not anymore.


Until next time….

Stupid is as stupid does

I forgot to mention yesterday I had some seriously stupid moments while cruising along I created my online resume, to look exactly like the resume that rocks. As I was checking out the jobs and the like, I saw a little “button” that I THOUGHT said “save resume” OK, seriously? I need new glasses or something. The “button” actually said “SEND resume”

I did this FOUR fucking times. Four different jobs, I hit the same fucking button. GAH! Only good thing with it? I didn’t send a cover letter, so they will probably ignore the resume. heehee

I could say I had a blonde moment, but I wouldn’t want to offend my blonde friends. I could also say I had a senior moment, but then I wouldn’t want to offend my older readers and friends (or my mom for that matter), so I’ll just call them stupid moments.

It’s Friday. I am still feeling quesy, but nothing like yesterday. Thank God. I’m going to the gym after work tonight and I want to be able to do the work out, ya know?

Later tonight, I’m going to do a ‘dedication’ Friday cause I haven’t done one in a long time. I’ll be looking for the perfect song.

Until next time….

No day but today

I’m a little late to the game of YouTube, however, I changed my ways and I found this video, from the movie and Broadway hit Rent, which just gives me goosebumps whenever I hear that song. And no, it’s not Seasons of Love. Even though I did almost copy that URL too haha.

There is a line in Seasons of Love that asks how do you measure one year? In cups of coffee? LOL good Lord!!! For me, that would be a fuckton of coffee, ya know?

I felt like crap earlier and I was sicker than a dog. I’ve been doing a whole lot of nothing since I came home early from work. I slept for 2 hours and then have just sat around. I even forgot I was supposed to go shoot pool tonight and I fucking spaced it. I will call one of the ladies tomorrow and apologize. Ugh. I wouldn’t have gone anyway, but at least I would have called instead of just not showing up, ya know? I’m feeling a little better now, but still very sluggish. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Hopefully I’ll be feeling better by tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the Cleaning Lady’s last day at the old station I used to work at. Her company’s bid was under bid by another company so for the new fiscal year, they will have a different cleaning company. I’m going there in the morning for coffee with her.

This week at work has been hell. I think just cause I had been on vacation the week prior, you know? That meeting I had yesterday in the late afternoon was short but sweet (55 minutes). I love meetings that last less than an hour. We got all the questions together for the oral board portion of the Admin Asst testing process. Hopefully everyone who put in for it passes it cause they have quite a few openings. They will probably have to test immediately after this list gets certified by the Civil Service Board.

I’ve stopped crying when talking to my boss about my move to SD. He was the ONLY person I would just start balling when talking about it to. We would start laughing cause as soon as we would start talking about it, I’d cry like a little bitch. LOL And finally, I’ve stopped crying when talking to him about it. Sheeesh. I’m such a baby.

OK, I’m going to go view a few more videos from Rent and maybe some other stuff on YouTube. I know. I’m late to the game.

Until next time….

This could turn into a FOAD post.

It is Thursday, after all. Someone needs to tell me how to do bullet points. Cause I love them and I want to use them. Help a girl out, k?

* The drivers in this town get worse every day. Did you know Las Vegas is one of the cities with the WORST drivers? They don’t pay attention, they don’t use their turn signals and they talk on their phone without an earbud all the time. Case in point, I got cut off this morning going down I-15 south by some asshat on the phone glued to his ear. I honked and he flipped me off. Hello? You’re the one that cut me off muther fucker.

* People who judge others for the way they do things. Just because you do something different than I do, does not make you a bad person. And vice versa. I express myself openly and honestly, doesn’t make it right or wrong, just is what it is. If we stop judging each other and let everyone just be themselves, maybe we’d have a better world?

* People who have called me crazy, stupid or any other negative word you’d like to use for deciding to move to San Diego. It’s OK that you think it’s a mistake. You’re allowed to think/feel that way, I won’t stop you. I wouldn’t even mind if you found a way to let me know this. But, if you could possibly help it, keep your negative attitude and judgmental sayings to yourself. All that will do is piss me off and make me want to do it more sooner, mmkay?

* Snobby people who think their shit don’t stink and are so stuck on themselves they can’t be bothered with making new friends or even being nice to people. You suck and you are not all that and a bag of skittles.

* I think that’s about it for now and besides that, I have to run down the hall and use the restroom (not that you needed to know that…just wanted to share!)

Until next time….

A little bragging, OK?

We all like to toot our own horns every now and then. No matter how self conscious we are, no matter how low our self esteem. It always feels nice to get a great compliment on something.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I finished my resume. I sent it to three different people to proof read it for me. The first was one of my best friends and his response was that it was great, do I want to be his AA. My answer was, thanks and sure, but only in Southern CA. LOL I’m waiting on the 2nd person’s response.

The third person? She works in Human Resources type stuff and looks at thousands of resume’s. I knew she would be objective and honest about what she read.

She gave me 3 suggestions that I did follow and then said this

This is one of the best resumes I have ever read. And I mean that — I’ve read thousands. I thought it would take me several hours to “wade through” all the information and have to tweak it etc. But you have done an
excellent job. Nothing is repeated and it really showcases your ability to
take on bigger/better projects and positions. It’s concise, sharp and in
terms that anyone can understand. I usually have to ask a half
dozen questions to clarify what someone is trying to say on the resume.

I was going to link to her, but I don’t know if she’d want that. So she knows who she is and I just want to say thank you again! I feel really great that I did such a good job on my first resume ever. I pinky puff heart you.

Being in the same line of work, or actually, at the same place for work, for the last 15 years, I found it difficult to sit down and do the resume. Once I got started and after looking at several examples online, it was fairly easy for me to throw together.

Until next time….

Technorati Tags: resume, friends, work

Another year has passed.

I decided to make this a sticky post for the rest of the day. I’ll take it down tomorrow

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Two years ago today, my best friend in the whole world, Todd Dengler, passed away from a massive heart attack at the age of 39.

I spoke to Todd the day before and he was happy, go lucky and feeling great, just like he had been the last several weeks.

Todd was one of those friends I could say anything too and he would still love me. He was one of those friends who taught me about acceptance. He was the one of the few people in my life who loved me unconditionally.

I met Todd when I joined the GA bowling league at the beginning of 2002. He had a little over a month of more time in the program than I did. We immediately hit it off and started hanging out a lot. We were inseparable. He was my go to person when it came to issues in my life with men (trust me, there’s been a lot) and he was my go to person when I was upset with someone in the program.

He was always there for me, never failing and ever loving. When he passed away, my world shattered. I found it hard to breathe the first 6 months after he died. I had an anxiety attack the following month and ended up in the hospital thinking I was having a heart attack.

My whole outlook on life changed that day and in the days following. My whole thinking and living changed.

People kept telling me:

“He’s in a better place”

“I wish I could take your pain away”

“Shouldn’t you be over it by now?” (this was 4 months later at a convention)

“Isn’t it time to let him go?” (again 4 months later at a convention)

I stopped hanging out with those people. I started hanging out with the people who would let me cry, scream and just plain talk about Todd. There is so much to say about the man’s personality, I probably couldn’t fit it into this one post.

I went to grief counseling for a short time after his death and it really helped me. I also got a book from our Employee Assistance Program. It all helped. But it still left that void in my heart for a very long time.

To this day, I have my moments where I miss him so much I can hardly breathe or think straight. I sometimes picture him sitting across from me. I talk to him all the time and I try to keep his memory alive by talking to our friends about him. Some won’t have anything to do with it, they don’t want to talk about it because it’s “painful.” I feel sorry for those people. I would be lost again if I didn’t have my memories of Todd and be able to share them with all of my friends.

Todd, you are missed daily. Your love and acceptance was my rock for many years. I miss your physical presence in my life. I still feel your spiritual presence 24 hours a day. I thank you for always being with me and for helping me become a better person.

I love you and I think of you daily.

Todd, I hope that you are resting in peace, which you deserve. You are now cured my friend. Cured of the disease of compulsive gambling and any other disorder you may have had.

Bob J just passed away yesterday, he’ll be coming to your meetings you are having up there.

I’ll see you again my friend. I love you

What a day!

This day is finally over. I just got home from bowling and I’m exhausted. I got up at my normal 5am, after not really sleeping. I tossed and turned all night long. I had a few nightmarish dreams thrown in for good measure too. I haven’t really had dreams like that in quite awhile. It was a little upsetting when I woke up this morning and just felt totally exhausted still. I believe I will sleep like a baby tonight.

Work was super busy when I first got there, since it was my first day back after being gone all last week. It was busy until after lunch and then it went into this “slump” or something. It was horrid. I ended up leaving a little early since I got there early AND worked through some of my lunch hour. I left my bowling stuff here at the house, so I had to come home and get it.

When I got home, I took a short nap cause I was hurting. The nap helped my exhaustion, but gave me a bit of a headache.

I believe I have finished my resume. I’m going to email it to my friend KP and he’s going to proof read it for me and then I’ll be emailing it to Lockheed for more proof reading. LOL. I’m a perfectionist and I’m going to make sure this resume makes me look like a Goddess in my line of work!

After they proof read it and I make the changes (if any) they suggest, I’m going to hold onto it for a bit. I don’t want to start sending it out before I’m ready to move down there, ya know? I don’t want to go any earlier than Sept/Oct and if I start sending it out now, I would be hard pressed to turn down a great offer.

I realized tonight while we were bowling, it’s been almost 2 years since Todd passed away. Wednesday the 27th will be exactly 2 years. I have a lot of meetings that day since I’m a subject matter expert on the next admin asst. test, so it will keep me busy. I haven’t been as focused on it this year and think that’s because I’m learning to live with the grief more easily.

I can’t say it’s easy and I can’t say it’s gotten any better since he died. But I can say it’s gotten different. My world shifted, changed and shattered for a short time after his passing. It was difficult to breathe, it was difficult to do much of anything. It makes me think of Dawg and what he’s going through. I can’t even imagine that loss. I lost my best friend and he lost his son. Apples and oranges in my opinion.

Off to check my email, play a game of Bubble Bobble and then to sleep I go. Hope you all had a great day. Dawg, I’m still thinking of you and sending my love.

Until next time….

I can’t stop

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I can’t stop going to NYCWD’s blog and reading the comments (there are 286 so far as I’m writing this post – 21:23 PST) from all over the world. I can’t stop going to his blog and watching his video with the Puppy Monster. I also can’t seem to stop going to Avitable’s to check for updates on the amount that has been collected so far.

My heart just aches for him. My heart aches for the Puppy Monster’s mom. I can’t seem to stop thinking about him or the agony with which he has to live. I wish I could take it all away. Wipe away the pain and make it so he didn’t have to go through this.

Dawg, my heart is with you. I can’t be there physically for you, but know that I am there in my heart and mind. Words could never comfort the pain you are going through.

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If you haven’t already, go to Dawg’s blog and show your love. Also, go to Avitable’s and contribute if you can, it adds up.