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Archive for February, 2008

I love free food

I woke up this morning feeling all stuffy and congested.  AGAIN!  I’m doubling up on the Airborne this morning before going to work.   Today, I’m “working” at a luncheon checking people in at the front desk and then I get to eat with them.  YUM!  Boss Lady and Boss Man love to feed people.

Josie is being extremely needy.  Last night and this morning she has been right under my feet everywhere I go or sit.  I don’t know what’s up with this little one, but I’m hoping I don’t accidentally step on her at some point.  Her tummy is gurgling very loudly too, so I’m thinking she’s not feeling so good.

I went to a GA meeting last night (of course) and ended up chairing it.  I was out numbered by about 8 guys and they all wanted me to chair it.  It’s way different than chairing meetings in Vegas, that’s for sure.  It was a great meeting.  As the chair person, I got to pick the topic so I chose fear and faith (turning fear into faith).  They all seemed to enjoy that topic and some of the guys shared some awesome stuff. 

I’m being lazy, but I need to jump in the shower and get ready for work.  I need to be at the country club at 11:15.  Thankfully it will only take me about 20 minutes to get there.  I’ll be jumping in the shower very soon.

Until next time…..

What a weekend – Sunday

After going to sleep quite early Saturday night, we were all awake and moving around by about 9am.  We were all quite sluggish until around 11 when we decided to go get some food.  I suggested we go to Red Robin for food.  It was SOOOO yummy!  They have this absolutely, to die for bacon, lettuce, tomato and avacado sandwich; on a croissant.  YUMM!!

After lunch, we drove around Indy a bit, going down town and driving around the circle with the huge statue in the middle.  It was pretty cool.  Next time I go to that city, I’d like to spend a little more time in that spot so I can get some more photos of the statue and what not.  We then drove by the dome.  I don’t know the name of the dome, but it’s the one the Colts play at I guess.  And they have a new stadium going up right next to it. 

We headed back to Miss Monique’s and it was about 3:30.  Miss Monique and I got ready a little earlier than Misses Laci and Lucy, since were leaving before them to go to a GA meeting.

We finished getting ready and left her apartment at about 4pm.   We stopped at Starbucks, the ATM for me and then went off to the meeting.  We got there about 15 minutes before the meeting started and saved a newcomer from bolting from the building.  He looked like he was ready to run at any given second.  He stuck around though and I’m happy about that.

CBFI came into the room and we chatted a bit and then the other two guys I met in Lexington showed up too.  One of them freaked me out; actually both of them did.  One got super excited when he found out who I was (he did this by asking CBFI who I was) and ran over to me for a hug.  huh.   Then the other one freaked me out cause he remembered exactly where I was sitting during a workshop they did in Lexington.  It was kind of creepy, but not in a bad way.  If that makes sense.

After the meeting, I gave CBFI my email address (my real one!) and my cell phone number so he can email me their meeting and phone lists.  We’ll see if he remembers.

Once we left the meeting, we headed over to the Murat to meet up with the other two bitches for the concert.   Once we got there, we were informed there was a problem at the apartment, which was easily fixed with a trip to the drug store.   However, it was weighing on one our minds so much, she and I left to go get what was needed at the drug store.  We let the other bitches know we’d be back.  We went to the drug store and when we tried to go back to the Murat, they would not let us back in.  Well damn.  What’s up with that?

So the two of us went back to Miss Monique’s place and watched one of the funniest episodes/segments of COPS I’ve seen in a long time.  I know it was an old episode but it was so fucking funny.  Two cops in New Mexico, were looking for a suspect named Kevin who was trespassed.  The girl in the apartment was telling them he wasn’t there, etc. etc.

The two cops go into the master bedroom and they are looking in the closet and then one of them notices that the mattress was all lumpy.  The mattress and box spring were on the floor and there was nowhere under the bed to look.  One cop asked the other why the mattress wa so lumpy and so the other cop picked up and said “Well, because Kevin is under there!”   The idiot put himself between the mattress and box spring and thought he’d be hidden from the cops.   I started laughing so hard.  Too funny.  I love stupid criminals.

After the concert, we went to pick up the two bitches from the Murat.  They were quite tipsy (drunk?) and funnier than shit.   We all got into our PJ’s and I think we were asleep (again) before midnight.

The most scandalous thing that happened was the mishap at the apartment, which required the trip to the drug store.  However, the KLASSY thing that happened was I was a smooth bitch and slipped my email and phone number to my crush.  Go figure!

I got home this afternoon at about 1:20 or so.   I’m doing laundry, I’m unpacked and I’m about to jump in the shower.

I’m sure the other bitches will do their own recap of the weekend.  I do have pictures, and will download them later; so you’ll have to wait!

Until next time….

What a weekend – Saturday

Miss Laci and I left the Ville at around 10am on Saturday morning. We made great time to Miss Monique’s, arriving just around 12:30 or so. I took a brief nap, sort of. It was difficult with the girls trying to chase the boys all around the apartment. Chloe and Josie had never interacted with cats before and I’ll tell you. Mr. Man was definitely the alpha amongst the group. While I napped, the bitches went to the store and got a few things. When they got back, we were sitting in the living room and Miss Monique told me we had an errand to run at about 4pm. Umm, well OK. LOL

It turns out that mah bitches bought me a massage. It was an Indian head and neck massage, so she did some weird shit to my scalp. But she was cool and she massaged my hands and wrists since I had mentioned that’s where I carry a lot of my stress. I felt sooooo relaxed after the massage. I was a big pile of goo when Miss Monique and I left the spa. I know I said it to them in person, but THANK YOU again. It was awesome and much needed!

Miss Lucy arrived while Miss Monique and I were out getting my massage. It was soooo awesome being around all three of them again! It was the first time we had all been together since August. We had staggered seeing each other, but never all four of us at the same time.

Saturday evening, we decided to go get something to eat. WOW! What an adventure that was. The first restaurant we wanted to go to had hordes of people waiting in line, so we tried O’Charleys. We should have known something was amiss when as soon as we were in the parking lot, someone stole the parking spot we were waiting for. Then it was a 30 minute wait, so we went to the bar and the same person who stole our parking spot, took the ONLY table in the bar and just sat there. Did not order drinks or anything.

We finally got seated at our table and our waiter took forever for the entire meal. We were there a total of 3 hours I think. It could have been a little more or a little less. I didn’t really check my watch the whole weekend. At one point, we were ordering cocktails and I ordered a shot of Patron. The waiter look at me and said “Just a shot of tequila? Not a margarita?” And I said “Yes….just a plain old shot of tequila.” He then asked if I wanted the training wheels (lime and salt) and of course I said no. After he walked away, all four of us burst into laughter. I asked the bitches “Did he really ask me that?” OY!

We finally got back to Miss Monique’s and I think we were just all pooped out. We were all in our jammies and in bed by midnight. LOL

I’ll post about Sunday later. I’m going to go unpack and start some laundry!

Until next time….

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Twitter Updates for 2008-02-24

  • some asshat took our parking spot too. sitting right behind us. I should be a cunt and say something #
  • @lisa I love crab cakes! My brother makes awesome crab cakes #
  • @jlynn hahahahaha yeah its flying #
  • Im quite tipsy. Just sayin. And Im horribly full #
  • @jlynn yeah Ive noticed hahahaha #
  • I am hungray. My tummy is gurgling away. #

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Twitter Updates for 2008-02-23

  • Not that I want some anytime soon but I found a Baskin Robbins by my apt #
  • home and trying to get warmed up. it’s quite cold out and when it’s foggy/drizzling it makes it seem colder #
  • @laci_loo WHEEEE I’m all packed…I did that before going to my meeting. I can NOT wait!!! I’m so excited! #
  • @lucysdilemma ME TOO!!!!!! #
  • @slobokan ROFLMAO indeed the Earth will shake! #
  • @laci_loo oooh yucky! You can take a nap in the car. Cause if you were driving, I know I’d be napping. LOL only fair 😉 #
  • going to bed now. Want to get some sleep before the big weekend. Have a feeling I won’t be getting much LOL #
  • wow wordpress just ate a whole post of mine over at Shutterbuggin. Whats up with that. fucker #
  • @monique_wwwl I actually wrote that last night and post dated it for this morning :) #
  • @lucysdilemma :( *hugs* #
  • I’m all showered and ready. Now I just need to get the energy to carry all this shit down to the car 😛 #
  • @monique_wwwl ROFL OK. I’ll take my time. #
  • I do need to go see if there’s a closer parking space than the one I got last night. I dno’t want to carry all this shit across the PL #
  • sweating. All I did was move the car, and make three trips down there; crate; my bag; girls bag #
  • OK. car is packed, girls have their harnesses on and they are running amuck in the apartment LOL #
  • slipped on some ice on the sidewalk (they don’t salt anything here). Almost busted my ass on the concrete. I would have lost my shit #
  • OK, I’m venturing out to put the girls in the car and head over to Miss Laci’s. @monique_wwwl & @lucysdilemma see you soon!!!!! #
  • Waiting on Miss Laci in her parking lot. Wheeeeeee #
  • Relaxing at Miss Moniques place. wheee. Only missing Miss Lucy. #

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Strange dreams

My alarm went off at 7:30 and interrupted one of the STRANGEST dreams I’ve had in a long time. I was dreaming about (ready to laugh?) General Hospital and then about people I used to work with. The characters from GH were mingling with my ex co-workers. It was really quite strange. I didn’t even watch my episode of GH yesterday so I don’t know why it was on my mind.

I love looking at electronics and I found a website that gives me thebest buy on what I’m looking at. I love new toys like that.

I’m drinking some coffee and relaxing. I’ve been throwing last minute stuff (meds and the like) into my suitcase. I need to jump in the shower and then start loading the car. With the girls going with us, I’ve got quite a bit to carry downstairs. The crate will be the most awkward on these death stairs. But I’ll get it down there and in the car.

I am so excited and can NOT wait to get on the road!!! We are going to have so much fun this weekend! We might even get into some trouble, but ya never know, right? I’m a smooth operator that’s for sure and I’ve figured out a way to meet CBFI again. Should be interesting how this weekend plays out.

Until next time….

Delving into my soul again

I touched on my isolating a little in my last post. I want to delve into that. When Todd died, I felt like a part of me died right along with him. I was lost. My whole world imploded. A month before he died, I lost one of my other best friends in a bout of wanting that instant gratification, instead of thinking of the consequences before that. Our actions led to the death of our friendship. I was still grieving that friendship when Todd passed away.

When Todd passed away, I totally focused on that and did not finish mourning my friendship with the other person. I kept going to meetings, but I lost faith in a lot of things during that mourning process for Todd. I lost faith in the people of the program. I lost faith in my ability to continue my recovery journey. I almost went back out gambling, but I chose to keep going to meetings, in the hopes I would find that faith again.

I found renewed faith in the 12 steps of recovery and the fact the only thing that would get me through that time was the program. I did not trust that the people of GA would help me do anything. Many of my friends at that time felt and expressed those feelings that I should “be over it by now.” They kept giving me platitudes of “he’s in a better place;” “he’s no longer in pain;” “you’ll see him again one day;” “he’s finally cured and he died in recovery, you should be grateful for that.” WOW. I had so many resentments for the first year after he died.

I ended up apologizing and making amends to some of those people because when they would say things like that to me, I would end up treating them like shit. I would go off on them. I lost my shit on one girl down in San Diego at the national convention in October of 2005 because she told me I needed to move passed it and get over it.

I discovered tonight that my immediate need to go for the angry reaction was masking the REAL emotions I was feeling when people would say those things to me. It hurt my feelings. Todd was my soul mate. Todd was the ONE person in my entire life (not including family) who treated me with unconditional love, no judgment, no conditions on his love. He gave me his love without question. He had faith in me, he believed in me and together, we were best friends.

When he died and I was dealing with all those emotions, I realized I didn’t want to let anyone else get close to me. I didn’t want to have another “go to person.” I was lost. I’ve been on a path since that day which has led me to where I’m at today. I am not the same person I was before he died. I am not the same person I was right after he died. I am a combination of the person I was and the person I want to become. When I moved here, I took the opportunity to isolate myself in that I am not getting that involved with the people in GA here. The only person I’ve made an effort to have in my life and my recovery journey is GB and his wife BB.

I love the fact GB called me on my shit tonight. It now opens a door for me to walk through into the next chapter of my recovery journey. It opens a door for me to deal with any feelings and emotions I have left over from the loss of my two best friends. I promised GB I would start working on all of this. And he promised he would walk next to me during this journey.

What a miracle that is. To have someone willing to listen to me and not judge me for the things I’ve done in the past, but look at me with fresh eyes and say “You are a good person, but you are in pain. We need to work on that.”

Twitter Updates for 2008-02-22

  • @monique_wwwl worst sound EVER! #
  • @jestertunes ROFLMAO #
  • ugh don’t want to go out in the cold and scrape the ice off my car. bleh #
  • oh my gosh! the ice sucks ass #
  • I was scraping ice off the window and the fucking went down my shirt! COLD! hahaha #
  • On my way home from the interview. Went well, more latep #
  • Just got home and ate a late lunch. interview went well. I’m giggling like a fiend, will blog about it #
  • I need to pack a bag for the girls and a bag for me. Guess I should see if I something sexy/cute for the nightclub on Saturday night too #
  • @divalici0us it was quiet cause I wasn’t here to blow up everyone’s screens with all my chattiness 😉 #
  • on the phone with a GA member in Indy…not the CBFI though….working on that #
  • @divalici0us found out what meeting he goes too on Sundays….LOL that was conniving of me. I may need to make amends LOL #
  • to stalk or not to stalk. that is the question #
  • @divalici0us here’s the link http://tinyurl.com/2l66zz @jlynn Yeah in a non stalking way of course! LOL #
  • almost done packing. driving the girls crazy right now. Ugh @divalici0us 😀 #
  • choking to death on my coffee. Ugh. #
  • @jlynn I love your pictures of the eclipse. Those are awesome! @monique_wwwl WHEEE #
  • and here I am dying to get back to work LOL grass is always greener I suppose #
  • @jestertunes that would be so fun!!!! If I lived closer I would so be there! #
  • @jestertunes ROFL true #
  • @kentuckygirl I can do it. I’ll trade places with you …and it’ll get you here to Kentucky #
  • @kentuckygirl good luck 😀 #
  • @frankiek yuck! :( #
  • a GA member needs an office manager and he thought of me. We are going to meet next week and discuss it #
  • I need to change clothes so I can leave for a meeting. But I have an hour before having to leave, so I’ll hold off on that LOL #
  • @jlynn I thought so too! 😀 #
  • off to mail some bills, deposit my paycheck and go to my meeting. #

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Exactly what I needed?

I went to my Friday night meeting tonight. It was awesome. There were 10 of us there and it lasted a full hour and 45 minutes. We were all chatty tonight. A few days ago, a member here suggested I get a sponsor locally. While still keeping my sponsor in Vegas. I took this into consideration and prayed on it. I then knew exactly who I would want to be my sponsor here in the Ville.

It’s no secret that GB and his wife have taken me under their wings and have helped me try to acclimate to this new town of my choosing. It’s no secret I think the world of this man and the recovery path that he is walking. In GA, we are also told to find someone that has something we want and then do what they did. If you do that, you’ll get what they have. GB has something I want. He has serenity and peace and self awareness and the strength to make the changes he needs to make. Even when it makes him uncomfortable.

After the meeting, I asked him for some counsel on two things. I let him know about the GA member who talked to me about needed an office manager. After the initial excitement that he would talk to me about possibly offering me this job, I started getting a sick feeling in my gut. My gut was telling me something. I got to the meeting and spoke to another member who has 15 years in the program about this. He opened my eyes quite a bit. And then after the meeting, I asked GB because in order for me to make an educated decision on this, I need several points of view. And since I don’t know this other member from a hole in the wall, I needed to find out. GB told me to follow my gut. So. This means I won’t be accepting that offer of employment from the other GA member. In Vegas there is a saying “Don’t do any business other than GA business” with other members. I’m going to stick with that for a bit. I will still meet with him next week for lunch to discuss it, but I have a feeling I’ll be turning that down. My gut tells me so.

I then asked GB to sponsor me here. I let him know that I would most likely have two sponsors. My sponsor in Vegas and then him, if he accepts. He is going to talk to his wife about it, out of respect for her, and let me know tomorrow. However, he’s already given me an assignment as a sponsor, so I have a feeling she won’t have a problem with it.

GB and I stood outside the church where the meeting was at talking for almost an hour after the meeting. I finally got to a point where I could not feel my toes so I had to go. LOL

What I really like about GA is that people are not afraid to call me on my shit. I may be self aware to recognize when I’m doing something self destructive or will lead me down a path of unhealthy living, but to have it vocalized by someone who is concerned about me is an awesome feeling.

GB pointed out to me that I am isolating. I go to meetings, I talk to GA members when they call me, but I don’t put myself out there. I’ve been aware of myself doing this since I moved here. I don’t call them. I have only called GA members when we’ve been working on something else (ie: all that literature I was typing). We chatted for a long time about my isolation tendency and WHY I isolate. It was revealed that since Todd died, I have shut myself off. I have put up a wall of distrust with people in the program. Actually with people in general. If I don’t let them get too close, it won’t hurt so much if they have to leave. Get where I’m going with that? So GB and I are going to work on that first and foremost.

And then…in like 11 hours, I’ll be heading over to Miss Laci’s house so we can venture up north to see our bitches!!! WHEEEEE I can NOT wait!!! I’m looking forward to the four of us being together, hanging out and just being together. It’s going to be an awesome weekend!

Until next time…

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Can’t stop giggling

I almost choked out the building owner.  It took him two hours to go through the first 9 pages of a 35 page manual.  Are you fucking kidding me?  Buddy you need to read fast and quit being such a micromanaging putz.  *le sigh*   I really wanted to confront him.  Maliciously.  But he’s like a Andre the Giant size dude.  His hands are about 3 times bigger than mine.  Scary dude.

We went to lunch, but the place fucked up my order and Boss Lady’s order.  We ordered our food at 12:15 and at 12:45, we were asking them where it was.   Needless to say, we got two free meals out of it and a half priced meal to boot.  There were five of us, three of us got the buffet and Boss Lady and I ordered off the menu.  Took them so long to bring the food, I had to go to drive to my interview and Boss Lady and Boss Man had meetings they had to attend.   I just finished heating up the food and eating it when I got home from the interview.

Ahh the interview.  I have not been able to stop giggling since the interview.  Something was said in this interview that made me giggle to the point of almost snorting in front of the two ladies there.  I withheld the snorting for later, when I was in my car driving.  The other drivers around me probably thought I was insane.

As I mentioned in a previous post, this company helps HR divisions with background checks, talent management and other hiring practices.  The section I would be working in?  OK, get ready to giggle.  I would be an information processor….dealing with…criminal history.  HAHAHAHAHHA I just started laughing out loud when I typed that. 

For anyone who doesn’t know WHY that would make me giggle…I worked for a police department for 15 years.  For a total of (not all together) 4 years, I worked in the Records section and the Criminal History section.  In the CH section, I did data entry of criminal history information.  There I go laughing again.

They say I’ll find out in a week or so.  Cross your fingers for me.  I’m going to go to the couch and giggle my ass off.

Until next time…