The Soda Stand

Archive for October, 2008

After sleeping last night, I woke up this morning with a plan forming in my mind.

I realized I could sit and complain about the “no structure” of the GA meetings I go too, or I could take some action and see if I can introduce said structure into these meetings I go too.

I’ve emailed a few GA members back in Vegas and have asked them to email me the meeting format they use there. I’m going to see if I can introduce it here. If it doesn’t work, I’ll move on and see about attending that other meeting in that other fellowship once or twice a month for some structure that I miss.

I woke up this morning with an email in my email box from my high school sweetheart. Just checking in on me and feeling nostalgic. A year ago, we were at the 20 year reunion.

I did think about that the other day when I was at work, but I was so busy doing payroll I didn’t have time to actually sit down and think very long about the reunion.

I’m freezing. I have decided that this year is colder than last year. It seems I can not get warm. Temperature right now? 39 freaking degrees. That’s 4 celsius for my Canadian and European friends.

In 3 days, my one year anniversary of moving here is going to be here. I may celebrate it with a shot of tequila. I survived my one year. When I moved here, I promised I would commit to at least a year. My year is coming to a close. I’ve decided to stay here and I feel good about that decision.

I just need to find a better apartment – smaller, cheaper, better area, etc. Oh, I’d like to request that wherever I move within the next month or two does NOT have 20 somethings living under me who like to play Guitar Hero (could have been Rockband) at 10pm at full volume. kthxbai.

Until next time…

I realized what I’ve been missing for the last year in the GA meetings I go to. When I came here, I thought the meetings strange and unruly and just annoying. I eventually got used to it, but still find myself a little peeved by the end of some meetings here.

Tonight, I went to a meeting in another fellowship, someone I sponsor in GA was celebrating 11 years in this fellowship.

I got to the church over in J-Ville and it felt more like the meetings in Vegas. Different fellowship, identical emotions. As I walked up to the entrance of the church, I stopped to finish my cigarette and there were some people already out there smoking. They engaged me in conversation and we talked for about 5 minutes before I headed in to meet my sponsor.

My sponsoree was at the front of the room (as is the tradition in celebration meetings in this fellowship), so I sat next to her.

The chair person of the meeting called the meeting to order at exactly 7:30. She read through a format already provided (like in the GA meetings in Vegas) and we proceeded with the readings (much like at a GA meeting.)

Since it was a “birthday” celebration, there were two specific speakers that My Sponsoree had chosen to speak at her celebration meeting. In this fellowship, you get to choose the format of the meeting when it’s your celebration. However, the meeting ends PROMPTLY at 8:40.

As the meeting progressed, we listened to the readings from their text book (it’s much like the yellow book we read from in GA), they did key chain presentations. People getting 30, 60, 90 days, 6, 9 and 12 months or 18 months. And above and beyond that, “multiple years of recovery.”

After the key chain presentations, the chair person called on the speakers. The two speakers did their speaking and then My Sponsoree’s sponsor in THAT fellowship presented her with a coin recognizing her 11 years.

My Sponsoree then spoke for a few minutes and the chair person read announcements. We then joined in a circle and recited the Serenity Prayer.

Structure. The meeting started at exactly 7:30 and ended promptly at 8:40. In the last bit of the format provided, the chair person said that if you didn’t get a chance to share, get with someone after the meeting was over. Simple.

Structure. Each speaker was set to a time limit and if they started going over, the chair person motioned to them to start wrapping up.

Structure. No cross commenting. No people telling me, right after I’m done sharing, their perspective on what I shared. No people interrupting the speaker to insert a joke.

Structure. Promptly beginning and promptly ending when it’s supposed too.

Structure. This is what I miss most about my meetings in Las Vegas.

I believe it’s time I email someone back there to send me a format and then start seeing how they would take it here.

The meetings here are AWESOME! Please do not misunderstand where I’m coming from.

I just miss the structure and accountability and stability that a structured meeting gives me.

The meetings here start out with the chair person asking each of us to read from the yellow combo book. The whole yellow combo book is then read. We do announcements and then every single person in the room is expected to share.

You don’t HAVE to share, but you HAVE to introduce yourself. If you try to not share at all, even your name, someone will call you out in front of the whole group of people.

Sometimes I like to just sit and listen. Sometimes, taking the ear plugs out and zipping my trap is the best thing I could do.

I miss my structure. I need to find it.

Until next time…

At the GA meeting last night, a new friend invited me to go to her celebration of 11 years in another fellowship.

I feel very blessed that she would want me to be there for this celebration.

It’s across the river in Souther Indiana and I’m quite looking forward to it. I’m sure I’ll feel the way my three bitches felt when going to a meeting for the first time.

I’ve never been to a different 12 step meeting, so this will definitely be worth it to me. I’m only nervous about one thing, and since I’ve already expressed myself to both Miss Monique and a co-worker, I’m not going to talk about it here.

Today was Platoon 2 and I got to see one of the most beautiful people ever created. He’s married though, so I try very hard to pretend he does not exist. LOL Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

I do have to say though, Platoon 2 day is NOT as fun when my favorite Major is not working. He’s on Platoon 1 now. Is it Thursday yet?

I worked an hour and a half overtime with Manager Lady. We had a few things to finish up with the cleaning of files and what not. Tomorrow, Shred It will come in and take it all away. I will then be the proud owner of a shitload of boxes for my packing and cleaning up phase here.

Once all that is taken out, we are going to stay and clean and rearrange stuff. I’ll be sure to take a t shirt though because today, I had my sweater on and I thought I was going to die from heat exhaustion while working.

I came home from work and made some chunky soup. It was tasty!

Until next time…

About me when 2 minutes after I had a conversation with someone today, my first thought was Oh shit, I have GOT to blog this? Is it bad that I thought this?  All I could think about was blogging to share with my friends.

Right after I finished keying my district’s payroll, my favorite Major came through the office.   Normally, we say hello to each other, a few other pleasantries and we move along with our day.  Today was a little different.

As he passed my office, we did the pleasantries thing and the next thing I knew, he was standing in my office door and we were chatting.  We talked about a lot of shit in a 20 minute time span.  Here are some of the hot topics of discussion:

Whether or not my Japanese tattoos really say what I hope they say (which they do, I paid to have them translated AND I had a few Japanese people interpret them for me).

His father and how he confiscates his dad’s car keys after dark.  He’s not allowed to drive when the sun goes down.  (His dad is 84).

The changing of his work schedule and platoon.

Chicago and Las Vegas (where we are from)

His cousin who is a professor at one of the universities in Vegas.

Payroll and how many errors there are in his new assignment.

Ummmm and those are the major points of conversation we had today.

*swooon*  I can NOT stop grinning!!!!

Right after the conversation, I shot a quick email to Miss Monique and I told her I was swooning and grinning like an idiot.  She says that it sounds like he was “swooning” too and then we asked each other do men really swoon?

My question for my male readers – do you swoon?

Until next time…

I’m ready for work. I’m sitting here, ready to leave! I was told a few weeks ago to NOT come to work until 6am. God forbid I get another half an hour of OT on a payroll Monday. Yet, here I sit, not letting myself leave yet until I know I won’t get there until close to 6am.

I slept halfway decent last night when I finally fell asleep. Once I did fall asleep, I did not wake up until my first alarm went off at 3:45. And then snooze and I became good friends once again until almost 4:30. Ooops.

The temperature outside is 39 degrees right now. It makes me shiver just typing that. Thankfully, my leather jacket still fits me fairly well, so I’m not panicking yet about not having a winter coat. I tried on the down jacket a few days ago. It’s tight, but it’ll have to do. My next trial will be when I try on the Kenneth Cole car coat that I have. Oh, all my coats are Kenneth Cole Reaction. I bought them while living in Vegas (like I needed those winter coats in Vegas, right?) and brought them with me.

I’m hoping the last jacket I have to try on fits me well. I also have a down vest type thing – from Target.

I hear the Rays upset the Red Sox last night. I’m not all that upset. You know I can’t cheer for the Sox anyway. So it looks like it will be the Phillies and the Rays in the World Series. I’m definitely going to be watching that. I’ll probably be cheering for the Phillies.

I’m feeling much better physically and mentally this morning. I’ll still be calling the doctor when I’m done with payroll today, to make an appointment about the headaches and the other problem I was having over the weekend.

I keep watching the clock for a time when I know I can leave without showing up at the office at 5:30 instead of closer to 6. Isn’t that sad? LOL Worried about being too early rather than being late.

*le sigh*

Until next time…

I found this over at Jade’s and thought I’d try it out. I’m quite happy with the result. I love Ingrid!

You Are an Ingrid!

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

After my post last night, I went straight to bed and I just now got out of bed. After sleeping on it and praying, I realize I’m homesick.

It’s been coming on for awhile. I’ve been obsessively watching the news from Vegas (I look at kvbc.com and lvrj.com to get the news) and I believe this is what is causing the homesickness.

For the last few weeks, every single day, I’ve gone to one or both of those websites to read the news from Vegas. I’ve even watched a few of the videos from kvbc.com to watch my favorite anchors delivering the news.

I just need to let myself feel what I’m feeling and I’ll get through it. It could be that I’m coming up on the one year anniversary of leaving Las Vegas. It could be the one year coming up and the fact I’m not exactly as “set” as I had envisioned myself when I left.

There were so many unforseen things happening when I got here, my life took a downturn financially that I had not planned for. It’s been difficult to accept this current situation of mine and I know this is what has started my little emotional trip down memory lane.

I love my job. Yes, I think it’s hard and I complain about how hard it is, but I like it. I like the challenge it presents to me every single day. I actually like the challenge it presents to me every two weeks during payroll week. That’s when it’s the most challenging; when I have to calculate all these payroll hours into regular and overtime and at what pay rate.

I like the city I’m living in. It’s beautiful and peaceful. I’m getting used to the trees lining the interstates and most of the surface streets when I’m driving around. I was so used to being able to see the entire city while I was in Vegas, it’s taken me a bit to get used to NOT seeing the city until I’m right on top of downtown on my way to work.

I was looking at Delsey luggage online. My luggage that I have is beat up and old. One set of it got ripped to shreds when I went on my Mexican Riviera cruise 2 years ago.

I’m hoping my little funk of homesickness goes away soon because it makes me miserable!!! I hate feeling like this and I hate getting sad. But I know I will and I’m sure this will not be the last time I feel this way. I just need to accept it and allow myself the feelings when I’m having them.

Until next time…

I’m feeling very restless. I’m on edge and jumpy. I’m near tears all the time. I’d like to blame it all on my headache I fought all day. However, I know myself too well to blame it on that.

I started feeling this way a few days ago. I’m beginning to wonder if my new meds are not working. Even though I know that all my naps today were because of my headache, I wonder if a part of me just doesn’t want to sleep all the time when I’m not at work. I’ve been taking a lot of naps after work lately, for no apparent reason and even when I don’t mean too.

Last night is a perfect example, I laid down at 5pm to watch TV and I was out until almost 7:30. I was back in bed by 11:30pm and slept straight through until this morning.

I was up at 8:30 and then back in bed at noon for a few hours. I’ve taken two more naps since then and I’m considering going to bed right now.

I’m also feeling homesick. I miss my friends in Vegas. Even though I don’t talk to them as much as I’d like, I miss them. I had a VM from one of them tonight and I just started crying.

I wonder if it’s a mix of being homesick and the depression stuff? I’m going to call the doctor on Monday and ask her about this medication. It is not working as well as Lexapro did and I don’t want it to get any worse.

I was looking at a website that offers a ecommerce merchant account. And then I realized I’d need an actual business to have a need for that.

I’m going to bed now.

Until next time…

I have no weekend plans. I’ve been awake for about an hour and am just sitting here, drinking coffee, fighting off another migraine and watching 90210. I have one tub of laundry going and then I’m going to go take a shower.

I’m hoping the shower helps the headache. I took something for it, so I’m hoping it kicks in soon.

I’ve noticed a bunch of dollar store franchise places around this place. Especially in the Old Louisville area.

The rest of the day? I have to go to the store to get some shipping envelopes (you know the bubble wrap kind) to ship off some DVD’s I’ve sold on ebay. After that, I have to ship those DVDs. I’m also going to do some cleaning around here and then sit down and start reading Eclipse (the third book in the Twilight series).

I have my little space heater going, because I just am putting off turning on the heater in the apartment. It’s cold in here too, but that little heater gives off enough heat to warm me enough for now. If it gets too cold, I’ll turn the regular heater on. *le sigh*

I was invited to a party tonight at a GA members house, but I really don’t feel like sitting around watching a bunch of people get stupid drunk. The invite is from a younger couple in the program, barely out of college, etc. I guess it’s a huge party and they invite all of their friends from different walks of life, etc. Whatev. I’m not in a social, party mood.

Until next time…

I don’t know why, but as I get older, naps are so important to me. Usually on my days off, I will take at least one nap, if not more. However, I try to avoid them after work and all that, so I can make sure I can sleep that night.

Today after work, I came home, finished reading the book New Moon and then conked out until about 10 minutes ago. It was a wonderful nap. If I was more awake and felt a little better, I’d be going to my meeting right now. However, I’m making a pot of decaf coffee and I’m going to snuggle on the couch for the night and watch all my shows I missed the last two weeks.

I have two episodes of Grey’s Anatomy to watch and several other shows on the DVR. This is what my evening will be full of.

I need to go to the store tomorrow and buy some mailing stuff cause I’ve sold a few more DVD’s on ebay and I need to ship them this weekend.

I was reading online about Body for Life, because I’m planning on getting back into that so I can lose some weight and get back into shape. I found a lot of bodybuilding supplements are being used by the Body for Life people and that is so not what I want to do.

I do not want to become a bodybuilder! I just want to lose about 40 pounds and start eating healthy. I’ll be working on the eating habits first and foremost, because that was the hardest thing for me to conquer last time I was on BFL.

I’ll start eating 6 small meals a day, instead of my regular 3 or less. Each meal will be a mix of proteins and carbs. I’m going to focus more on the proteins than I do the carbs, since I need to watch out for my higher than normal cholesterol levels.

Once I get the eating habits in check (it’ll take me about a month to two months to get it really going), I’ll start on the working out thing. Until then, I’m going to start walking more with Josie and possibly using the treadmill at work on my lunch hour or maybe after work.

OK. I’m off to watch TV for the rest of the evening!

Until next time…