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Archive for February, 2009

Never easy

It’s never easy to say goodbye to a friend.  Whether you have a few months or a moment that slips by you.

At 11:45 p.m. Friday evening, Lisa @ Clusterfook lost her valiant battle with cancer.

Lisa taught me strength, courage, hope and how to fight.  She never gave up and she always spoke of the love she felt for her husband, Dude, and her two daughters, Teenie and Cam.

Lisa was the epitome of silent strength and will.  She shared her journey with us from day one.  She shared her pain and her happiness.  She shared her sense of loss and her will to live.

Lisa, may you finally be at peace and out of pain.   May you be up in heaven rocking out to the Rolling Stones.

Dude, I pray you and the girls find the strength, courage and wisdom to get through this difficult time.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.  Thank you for sharing your wife with us.

Rest in peace, my dear friend The Rock Bitch aka Lisa @ Clusterfook.

I can’t think of a title

I went to see The Rat Pack last night with Miss Laci.  It was awesome!  The guy who played Dean Martin had me in stitches!  It was so funny, I’m sure I was snorting a few times!

If you have Broadway Across America productions in your area, I would seriously suggest going to see The Rat Pack – Live At The Sands.  It will be well worth it.

Today will be a good day, even with the lack of sleep.  We had some thunderstorms roll through and they woke me up at 3:30 this morning when the hail was hitting my bedroom window and the lightning kept lighting up my bedroom.   I’m exhausted, but it’s Friday, so it’ll be a good day!

Tonight I’ll be going to my meeting and then after that, I might go hang out with Miss Laci & Miss Monique.  I’ll see how I’m feeling after the meeting.  Either way, I’ll get to see them both tomorrow when we do the bowling, shopping, dinner and drinking thing, I’m sure!  YAY!  It seems like I haven’t seen Miss Monique in forevah!!!   The only thing that would make the weekend better would be if Miss Dana could join us.

I called The Trainer “Lil Hitler” yesterday in a text to somebody.  I immediately felt bad and texted again saying I shouldn’t have said that and I’m sorry.   While she gets freaked out and takes her bad moods out on me and Co-Worker, she has been very good to us and she is very nice when it comes to stuff other than work.  And even with some work stuff, she’s nice.  I felt horrible.  I’ll get over it I’m sure.

I was looking at some discount lighting fixtures earlier. Guess it might come in handy if I ever become a home owner again.

Off to get ready for work.  It’s Friday so that means I get to wear jeans!  YAY!

Until next time…

Oh boy was that frightening.

I gave myself quite the scare today.  I went to my doctor to discuss working out and what not.  Turns out, I have a sinus infection (no surprise there) and D.O.E.   DOE is not as frightening as it sounds, but I sure had myself in a panic!

While the doctor DID say she wants to test me for asthma and emphysema, I went a little crazy thinking automatically that I’m dying.   I even refused to let myself look at WebMD cause seriously?  The information in that link up there was bad enough.  I would have given myself emphysema, lung cancer and all these other heart and lung diseases.

The nurse did an EKG and it was normal.  I then moved onto the lab for a chest xray and CBC blood draw.  My arm is bruised now from where the vampire lady took my blood.  Stoopid vampire.

Next week I go in for a PFT (pulmonary function test) where I get to put my mouth around a tube and blow.  How dirty does that sound?  LOL  I’ll probably giggle my way through that test.  Yes, I’m a 12 year old boy at heart.

I’ve also got a stress test scheduled for the week after the PFT.  She wants all the results from the other tests in before doing the stress test – so I don’t keel over and die when I’m on the treadmill for the stress test.  Awesome.

I’m not so panic ridden now since I’ve had a few hours to digest everything and wrap my head around it.

I am putting my working out plans on hold until I find out what’s going on with my breathing situation and then I’ll work around it.  I still want to work out, even if I have asthma or whatever.   I’ll just have to adjust the workout for it.  Ya know?

I’m going to go find something for dinner and then relax for the evening.  I had wanted to go do laundry, but I’m going to wait until Sunday after the GA meeting I have to go too for the host committee.

Until next time…

It’s hump day!

YAY!  It’s hump day!  After today we will be more than halfway to the weekend!

I got to sleep in a bit this morning because I have a doctor’s appointment at 9am and instead of going in early and then driving all the way back towards home, I decided to just go in after the appointment.

I made the appointment last week so I could get a full physical and start working out.   Well in the last week since I made this appointment, I’ve started becoming very congested and I feel like I’m falling apart.  LOL  Good timing I guess!

I need to go do laundry tonight after work, since I won’t have a chance this weekend.  Saturday, Miss Laci and Miss Monique will be joining me for the GA bowling day and then after that, we are going to go shopping for an outfit for the awards banquet/dinner/dance that is on the 6th of March.   Miss Laci is my date for that.   I think she’ll enjoy the eye candy as much as I will!  LOL

It’s not a black tie event, but it is kind of dressy, so I want to get a nice pantsuit or even a dress that is nice but not super dressy, ya know?

I also need to get another set of linens for my bed. I was checking out the Sferra website. WOW. I think that’s all I can say.

I had wanted to watch the President’s address to Congress and I fell asleep instead.  I fell asleep on the couch at around 7:30 and woke up at 9pm.  I trudged my way to the bed and fell right back asleep.   I woke up once at 3:30 and then went back to sleep until my alarms started going off.   I feel pretty rested.

I had some pretty disturbing dreams last night I think.   I don’t remember them, but I sure do remember waking up from one or two and feeling like I was in a panic.

The weather is going to be warming up here!  YAY!  Although our temps this week will vary from 30’s to 60’s and back to 30’s.   Here comes the next round of sinus problems for most of us living here in the Ohio Valley!

Until next time…

I don’t know if I could do it…

I’m sitting here with tears streaming down my face (making a mess of my mascara too) and thinking I don’t know if I could it.

I don’t know that I could do what Karl has and is doing.  He’s been given the honor of being Power of Blog (similar to Power of Attorney for those not familiar) for Lisa @ Clusterfook.

There is a new update about Lisa’s condition there and I’m just sad.  I’m heartbroken for her daughters and her husband.  I’m heartbroken for her friends and family.

And on a selfish side note, I’m heartbroken I never got to meet her face to face or hold her hand or hug her.   I’m sad.

Love transcends death.  I will continue loving her.  I hope everyone else does too.

Her journey has been painful and heart wrenching.  She has stood up to cancer and fought the good fight.

I prayed everyday for a miracle.  I prayed everyday she would be able to live without pain.  I continue praying for those things and I continue praying for her family.

Until next time…

The day is finally over!

WOOT!  The day is over and I’m in my PJs, watching mah boyfriend Jack Bauer kick some more ass on a minute by minute basis.

I’m exhausted.  I can hardly keep my eyes open, but I want to watch Jack!

Today at work was very stressful.  Not as stressful as some of the payrolls have been, but stressful, nonetheless.   I’m getting really tired of being blamed for everyone’s mistakes.  I do not mind taking responsibility for the shit I do, but the shit YOU do?  Forget about it.  I’m not taking ownership of that shit.  No matter how hard someone else tries to deflect it onto me.

Once work was finally over, I came home and ate some soup and then refused to sit on the couch.  I knew that if I sat down on the couch for any moment of time, I would crash.

I left here at 6:30 for my meeting.  I had wanted to leave a little earlier so I could get my prescription of Nexium at the pharmacy but I got into an email conversation with MH.  And it had nothing to do with the email I mistakenly sent out yesterday.  Thank goodness.  LOL

I ran the meeting.  I started it precisely at 7pm and I ended it at precisely 8:30pm.  I used the meeting format from Vegas with a few changes here and there to fit our meetings here.

I was home by 9pm.  THAT is the way these meetings are supposed to be!  Start on time, stop on time!  I stopped all cross commenting and did not let people go over 7 minutes of sharing!  WOOT!  Now, if only I could get all the meetings to use that format, I’ll be a happy girl!

If I ever become a homeowner again, I’m going to consider getting a tankless hot water heater just because it looks interesting!

Off to watch Jack kick some ass.

Until next time…

I am just silly

I recently became the Administrator of the local GA group’s website. I got all the login information on Friday night and so I thought I’d fiddle with it today while waiting for the race to come on.  Don’t worry, I’m going to change the layout and the color.  It’s nasty and it hurts my precious eyeballs to look at it.

After I made some content changes on a few of the pages, I emailed some of our GA people here and let them know what changes I made and then what other changes I plan on making.

In the course of sending this email, I somehow emailed two of my co-workers.  The Co-Worker knows I’m in GA and I talk about it with her often.  Major Hottie, on the other hand, had no idea I was in GA.  Well now he does.  *le sigh*

I freaked out, emailed AND texted mah bitches in a panic.  I finally calmed down and while I’m a still a little nervous, I’m not freaking out like I was.

I’m not ashamed that I’m in GA.  Nor am I ashamed that he finally found out.  What I do not like is the way he found out.  It’s not normally the way I like to let people know I’m in recovery.

I usually like to do that face to face in a conversation.  I can relate anything and everything to my recovery when in a discussion with people so it’s usually no problem for me to slip that information in there.

He hasn’t responded and I have not emailed again in a panic, asking him to ignore the email.  I’m hoping he just lets it go and I don’t have to feel uncomfortable about it.  Guess we’ll find out tomorrow since it’s Platoon 1 day.  Then again, he rarely comes up to the office anymore, so it may be a non-issue to begin with.

Until next time…

I feel like it’s over…

I woke up this morning at 6:30, thanks to that 3 hour nap I took yesterday evening. I went to bed at midnight and slept halfway decent.

I’m enjoying my morning coffee and feeling like my weekend is over. I was hoping after almost a year of doing this job, that payroll Mondays would not become an obsession. Not so much.

I woke up this morning dreading and thinking I need to get all my crap done early today so I can relax and try to go to bed early. Ugh.

I never did get that pedicure. I’m stubborn when it comes to my fingernails because of being spoiled by Nail Lady in Vegas. My toes? It took me 5 years to let HER do my feet, imagine how I feel right now. I hate my feet. I hate my toes. Always have. Nail Lady was different though. She’s one of two people I’ve let do my toes.

I’m struggling to get to a point where I will let someone who barely speaks English do my toes. I have some problems with the nails on my two big toes and the toes next to them. I’m embarrassed by them and don’t want anyone touching them.

And on the other hand, I’m dying to have a pedicure!  I need to decide which is more important.  Ya know?

This next week is going to fun, fun fun!  On Thursday the 26th, Miss Laci and I are going to see the Rat Pack show!  And then the weekend will be fun cause Miss Monique is coming down and the three of us are going bowling with my GA friends.  The only thing that would make this next weekend more fun would be if Miss Dana could join us!

I’ve been having a hard time emotionally this past week and I know it’s all my own doing.  I got frustrated with a situation with one of guys at work and found myself near tears that day.  I got “over it” for the next two days because he wasn’t on duty.  And then Friday he was and I had to email and/or talk to him 3 times first thing in the morning.  Thankfully, I didn’t have to try to avoid him cause he never came into the office for his mail run.

While my frustration is evident to me, I work very hard to not show it at work or to my coworkers.  Hopefully, I’m succeeding at that and no one can tell when I’m ready to climb the walls and scream, ya know?

It snowed yesterday and then it got really cold so the snow on the ground is coated with ice.  Awesome.  And it’s lightly snowing right now, I just took Josie out and it’s freaking cold!  The wind chill temps are single digit around here.  Yuck!

Hope ya’ll have a great day!

Until next time…

What have you been up to today?

Me? I’ve been doing a whole lot of nothing. I slept until 9am, went out driving around Sawyer State Park and then back home.

I’ve watched a few TV shows that I have on the DVR and then I napped from 4:30 until about 7:45.

I then ate left over spaghetti and now feel like I’m dying. OMFG! I have never felt so miserably full in my entire life. For a good 30 minutes after eating, I could hardly move. I was in so much pain. I couldn’t stand up straight, couldn’t cough. Ugh.

Now that portion of my misery is slowly going away and I have acid reflux now. YAY me!

I’m going to go lay on the couch and moan & groan until I feel better!

Until next time…

TGIFF

It’s Friday! YAY! I realized this morning I did not post yesterday. WOW. That rarely happens!

I woke up way early today cause I went into a horrible coughing fit at 4:30 this morning. What a way to wake up! I’m glad I have an appointment with the doctor next week, cause I may be needing more than just a physical when I get there. If my cough is any indicator, the weather change has messed me up once again.

I had a halfway decent day at work yesterday, nothing exciting happened. I’ve agreed to help a Major with a powerpoint presentation that he has to do for a class he is teaching.

After talking to him yesterday about some of the material, I’m beginning to regret that volunteer activity.

Two police officers were shot last night across the river. They are both in critical condition right now. I hope they will be okay. They also found two bombs in the hotel where it happened. WTF?! And the scumbags who did it are still on the loose.

I’m slowly getting used to having my nails again. It’s difficult to type and my fingertips are finally not as tender and sore as they were yesterday. I’m so glad I got them done!

This weekend is going to be totally about me. Tonight after work, I’m probably going to the gym down the street to discuss their fees and see what kind of price they offer me. I am weighing the pros and cons of it. The only con is that it will cost me money LOL. One of the pros is that once I start working out again, I will feel 10x better and get into shape. The pros are outweighing the cons right now. Is this a need or a “want”?

I’ve been having trouble shutting my mind off at night and I think this is one of the main reasons I haven’t been sleeping well. I’ve start meditating and doing some qi gong breathing exercises before sleeping. It helped quite a bit last night, so I’m going to continue doing that each night when I lay down for sleep.

I believe I’m rambling and I’m okay with that.  If you make it through this whole post, I appreciate you more than you know!

They are expecting some snow tonight into tomorrow morning.  Ugh.  They are calling for 1-3 inches of snow accumulation.  Blech!  I know it’s still winter, but damnit I’m done!  You’d think with the spring like weather we had recently, the wintry stuff would be done!  Not so much, I know.

I need more coffee.

Until next time…