The Soda Stand

Archive for May, 2009

I stole this meme from Tense.  It looked really interesting so I thought I’d take a stab at it!

If I were a direction I’d be… east
If I were furniture I’d be… a couch
If I were a liquid I’d be… coffee
If I were a sin I’d be… lust
If I were a gem/stone I’d be… a sapphire
If I were a metal I’d be… gold
If I were a tree I’d be… an oak
If I were a fruit I’d be… a strawberry
If I were a flower I’d be… a lilly
If I were weather I’d be… a thunderstorm
If I were a music instrument I’d be… drums
If I were an element I’d be… fire
If I were a color I’d be… purple
If I were an animal I’d be… a dog
If I were a sound I’d be… running water
If I were a lyric I’d be… ”Sometimes goodbye is a second chance” – Second Chance by Shinedown
If I were a song I’d be…  ”Save A Prayer” Duran Duran
If I were a music type I’d be…  80’s pop
If I were a perfume/cologne I’d be… Black – Kenneth Cole
If I were a feeling I’d be… peaceful
If I were a book I’d be… Gone With the Wind
If I were food I’d be… bbq chicken
If I were a city I’d be… New York City
If I were a taste I’d be… sweet
If I were a scent I’d be… vanilla
If I were a word I’d be… majestic
If I were a verb I’d be… read
If I were an object I’d be… a chair
If I were a piece of clothing I’d be… a bulky too large for me sweatshirt
If I were a body part I’d be… legs
If I were an facial expression I’d be… smile
If I were a cartoon character I’d be… Jabberjaw
If I were a movie I’d be… Serenity
If I were a geometrical figure I’d be… a triangle
If I were one of the 4 seasons I’d be… autumn
If I were a sentence I’d be… You are beautiful.

I can already tell it’s going to be a great weekend.  Today, I’m cleaning, doing laundry and relaxing.  Tomorrow, I’ll go to church (heading back to Southeast since the other one ended up being a bust) and then I will get to see KP and LP!!!!  They are in Ohio right now, visiting LP’s best friend and then will be coming down here tomorrow.

I am so excited I could just freaking scream!!!  

I slept well last night for the first time in ages.  I did not wake up to go to the bathroom.  I did not wake up coughing.  I woke up once during the thunderstorm that passed by, but other than that, I slept like the dead.  It was incredible.  I woke up feeling a little groggy because I had slept so deeply and so long, but I currently feel pretty good.

I still have the congestion from all that crap before, but I’m still on the antibiotics and what not.  I’ll be feeling right as rain soon enough.

I found a NCIS marathon on USA channel, so I’ll be watching that in between the chores and trips to the laundry room.  I also have a package in the apartment office I need to go get, it’s from Avon.  

I dislike my mailmen and UPS drivers on this side of the complex.  My old ones would leave me a notice that I have a package in the office.  These new ones do not.  I had a package sitting in the office for weeks one time.  *le sigh*

I’ve been considering getting a memory stick. Any suggestions on kind, size, etc?
I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Until next time…

When I was in Vegas, I did not need a list of my job duties or a list of things to do for the day.   I knew that job inside out and like the back of my hands.

However, this job?  This job has me making to do lists and priority lists and I now have a list a mile long to start getting done for year end stuff.  Yeah, year end is not until June 30th (talking fiscal years), but it’s just around the corner for me.

I’m working on the vacation accrual for next fiscal year, I’m working on a spreadsheet for retro pay, in case our contract is not negotiated on time.  The last time it went 2 years and they had to retro pay everyone in the union.  So I’m preparing a spreadsheet like the one they used back then.  Fun times.  Fun times.

The spreadsheet will encompass every pay period from July, 2009 until December of 2011.   It will include every employee on this department that is covered by the contract.  There are currently eight people who are not covered by it.  Yeah.  Take those eight away and I still have over 500 employees to key into this spreadsheet.

And then, if the negotiations go beyond July 1, I will get to key all 500+ people into these spreadsheets each pay period.  Awesome!

I got a great light show on my way to work this morning.  The thunder and lightning was spectacular to watch from inside my vehicle.  I did, however, have to run in the rain the my car and then into the office.  Not cool!

Until next time…

A friend from Vegas posted a story about Vanessa Hudgens saying that for the right role, she would do a nude scene.

A commenter said something along the lines of “so much for finding good role models for our daughters.”

Well now that kind of got under my skin.   I don’t believe the purpose of actresses, actors, athletes, etc. is to be a role model for children.  I believe their main purpose is to entertain me and help me escape reality for the amount of time I’m watching their movie, show or sporting event.

So I made the comment to this person that I believe a daughter’s role model should come from within her life.  Her mother, her aunts, her grandmothers, teachers and family friends should be her role model, not an actress who gets paid to entertain for a living.

Society has put some extremely high standards and expectations on the shoulders of these people and I believe it’s wrong.   Once the people are put onto that pedestal and parents allow their daughters or sons to use this/that person a role model, they get disappointed and disenchanted with that person and suddenly they are labeled as a bad role model.

Throughout my life, my mother was my main role model.  She was the one person when I was growing up that I wanted to be like. 

Even though I would never have admitted that to her years ago.

When I started working at Metro, my role models were a few of the women who had been on the department for years and I admired their work ethics.

Today, my role model is Business Manager and several of my closest friends.  My role models are people who have something I want to have in my life.  Whether that be courage, strength, wisdom, peace, or serentiy.  

They have something I want.

When finding a sponsor in GA, we have a saying that you should look for someone who has what you want and ask them.  This means that they have the recovery and serenity we want in our lives, so we ask them to be our sponsor and they become our role models. 

We do what they did to get what they have in recovery.  For me, this is how I choose my role models in life.  

Sometimes, the role model chooses me.

For example,  Business Manager at work.  She chose me for this job I have.  She told her boss and the Chief that I was the one and that I would kick ass at this job.  She believed in me and saw something in my interview that had her convinced I was the one for that job.   

Whatever way we choose our role models or they choose us, we need to honor that and not muddy the waters by making people like Vanessa Hudgens as our role models for ourselves or our children.

Until next time…

There are several behavior and character patterns that I’ve worked really hard to get out of over the years.  I’ve never made it a secret about some of my past and I’ve never lied to anyone about my past.

While I’ve never straight out lied about my past or anything going on with me now, I’ve  just left out some important information and to me, that’s as good as lying.

I’ve bared my soul for the world to see on this blog and I’ve found therapeutic suggestions and answers to my biggest dilemmas.

I’ve never been one to be outwardly cryptic on this blog, but today that’s changing.

They say confession is good for the soul.  Do you believe that?  Sometimes, I do believe it.  I confessed something over the weekend and while I felt better in one way, I felt worse in another.  One of my best friends helped me with that.  It gave me a little peace in talking to someone who is always there for me.

I guess it’s just one more stepping stone of growth to get to where I need to be.   Before I left Las Vegas, I had done some 4^th step work on my issue with certain things in my life and I really thought I had learned how to live with that part of myself.   I thought I had moved past it and grown beyond it.  I have found out over the last several months, I really haven’t.   While I recognize it quicker and sooner, I still find myself in those patterns of self destructive behavior that do no one, especially me, any good.

At the same time as recognizing it and knowing what I need to do, I don’t do anything to change it.  I remain in the pattern and let myself swirl around this big whirlpool of self destruction.

I see the answers before me and I do nothing to obtain them.  I’ve remained involved in GA and I’ve been making sure to hit at least one meeting per week, if not more when I either feel like or I don’t.

I don’t think I’m finding everything I need in GA.  I have found ways to deal with urges and desires to gamble and I haven’t had one of those in years.   I’ve learned how to look at myself in my mirror and be objective and know when I’m sliding away from the side of right that I am usually so proud of.  Obviously, something is lacking within me and I don’t believe GA is offering me those answers right now.

I’ve considered outside therapy, but at this point, even with insurance, I cannot afford the co-pay.   I’ve looked into the EAP at work and find that while they don’t charge my insurance for the first appointment, they DO charge a co-pay.  I simply cannot afford to send more money out without more money coming in.  It’s so tight right now and for the next several paydays, I am just letting myself move slowly and take it a step at a time.   

In the meantime, while I wait to start making more money somewhere either online or outside of home, I’m going to continue going to my GA meetings and I’m also going to start going to one Al-Anon meeting a week, or more if they suggest it.

I have felt a lack of connection with the fellowship in GA and so maybe I can find whatever is missing on the inside at the other program.  Or it can help me look deeper in places that GA doesn’t go too. 

I guess we’ll find out.  It certainly won’t hurt me to go to those other meetings.  It might even help me to get off my ass and make a few changes that I know I need to make. 

For now, I’m going to continue what I’m doing to improve my self image and my self worth.  I will continue talking to those friends I know I can turn too and just hope that through all of this, I can learn from my mistakes and really, truly move forward with my life.

Happy Mother’s Day to my mom and all the other moms out there.  I hope you have a wonderful day and get all the love, affection and attention you deserve on your day!

I woke up this morning at 7:30 when my alarm went off.  I had every intention of going to church.  Miss Laci called me and we discussed it and realized that the services today are going to be geared towards all the moms and children.  She checked the email from the pastor and there are going to be tons of kids around.  While we both don’t mind children, we just do better when we deal with kids in small doses and not when there 100’s of them running around.

I think this decision to not go is best for my health right now.  I’m still feeling very sick and just really don’t want to go out in public.  Especially if I have a coughing fit cause it is disgusting!!!

So I’m going to spend the day here at home.  I might go grocery shopping because there are a few things I need to get.  I also might go do a few loads of laundry, just so the next time I do it won’t be so huge, ya know?

Currently I’m just enjoying my morning coffee and loving the fact my eyes are not itchy at the moment.

KP and LP will be here in town in a week and I’m so excited I can hardly contain myself.  They are on their way to Virginia right now and then will be making their way back here.  I haven’t seen them in almost a year (saw them in August of 2008 when I went to Vegas) and I’m looking forward to being able to hug them and their daughters.   I may even cry cause I’m so happy to see them!

I hope you all have a great day today.  Enjoy the weather (if it’s nice where you are) and the day.

Until next time…

I need some chicken soup!  STAT!  I did not wait until next week to start feeling better.  I went to Norton Immediate Care Center a few miles from my apartment this afternoon.

I could not take the pain in my right ear or the pressure in my sinuses any longer.

The doctor there believes the Amoxicillan(sp) I was on for the sinus infection did not work and that is why I started to feel better but then got worse.  He’s put me on Biaxin XL.  I got the generic for it and that is called Clarithromycin.   Crossing my fingers and very hopeful it helps me start feeling better!

He also saw fluid in my left ear and believes I have the start of an ear infection in my right, due to the sinus infection being around so long.  The antibiotics will help with that as well.

He noticed my eyes were real red and irritated and we discussed allergies and what not.  He gave me a prescription eye drop specifically for allergies called Pataday.  This medicine was named after the jockey Pat Day.  Uh huh.  Interesting.

I’m to continue the Mucinex twice a day and the nose spray, Astepro.  He thinks I’ll start feeling much better by Monday and I’m hopeful that he’s correct.

I am currently making some soup (ironically chicken) and I’m going to enjoy it greatly!

After I eat the soup, I’m going to do a whole lot of nothing.  

Until next time…

I don’t think I have any plans this weekend.  I mean, if I do?  I’ve forgotten and so now I don’t have plans.  I think the only thing I have on my list of things to do outside of the apartment is church tomorrow.

I developed a cough earlier in the week and so I called the doctor yesterday to discuss the cough and congestion.  She told me to keep taking the Mucinex and if I wasn’t better by next week, to come back in.

I started running a low grade fever last night.  I wasn’t feeling real sick, just worn out and the cough was getting to me.  

Well this morning?  My throat hurts again, my ears are plugged up and hurting AND I’m still hacking up a lung.  However, there is no fever at all.

I would really like to know what the fuck is wrong with me.  The doctor DID say that my asthma is probably not helping the cold/sinus infection stuff go away completely.   And added onto that, I am still smoking.  I have four cigarettes left and no intention of buying another pack.   Wish me luck!

I didn’t sleep well and so I’m sure that doesn’t help with how I’m feeling.  I would just really love a full night of sleep where I’m not coughing a lot.  If I start feeling too much worse today, I’ll just head over to the Immediate Care center by my apartment here.  

I was looking online at some Westgate stuff today too. I don’t know why, it just caught my attention when I came across the website.

So for today, I’m going to do a lot of laying around on the couch or in bed and playing on the computer.  

Until next time…

Those are words from a country song I heard on my way home from work tonight and I liked them so much, I decided to use them as the post title.

I had quite the day at work today.  I went in at my regular 8am and then at 12:15, I went to lunch and then to a training class for a specific thing in my job.  Now, mind you, I’ve been doing this specific duty (as trained by The Trainer) for almost a year now.

During this 2.5 hour class, I found out that I’ve been doing quite a bit of the stuff incorrectly.  While I know it’s not really anything I can control, it makes me feel angry that I was trained improperly to begin with.

After the class, I went back to the office and started my 3 hours of overtime for the CPR center stuff.  

The entire day was just chalk full of distractions because Major Hottie was working headquarters today and he was drinking our coffee.  Our coffee pot sits right outside my office door and every time he came in there to get coffee, I would just swoon and gaze.  LOL  I’m such a dork.

He’s not available and I just keep swooning like an idiot.  Oh well.  It’s fun getting to know him as a friend and I don’t mind having this secret crush on him.  Although, I don’t believe it’s a secret crush, it just never is talked about or brought up.  I’m pretty sure he knows.

When I was leaving the office at 7pm, I had to get him to lock the CPR office that I had been working in (I don’t have a key) and so we joked a bit back and forth from his office where he was to the CPR office and back.  Once again, I was swooning and I’m sure it was obvious on my face.  And I don’t really care that it was obvious.

MBMoE has pretty much started to leave me alone.  He goes through phases of contacting me a lot and then not contacting me at all.  

Nothing else going on in the men department and I’m quite okay with that.  I haven’t seen Neighbor Guy in over a week and come to think of it, I haven’t even seen his car around.  At least he didn’t become a stalker type or get all needy and clingy on me.

I ate Honey Nut Cheerios for dinner because I didn’t get to eat until almost 8pm and I refuse to eat heavy later than 7pm if I can help it.   Although I have been known to snack on popcorn later than 8pm.  *ahem*

Until next time…

Errr I almost typed “Ohio Valley” in place of “jungle” and then decided against it.  I’m so tired of hearing the 5 words that have become the bane of my existence.  Welcome to the Ohio Valley.  I hear it everytime I complain about my sinus migraines or my allergies or the fact I’ve developed asthma since moving here.

I’m still pretty miserable.  It’s all sinus and allergy, I can feel it in my sinuses.  It’s driving me insane.  And then, of course, it’s grass cutting week on the interstates.  Oh that’s fun!!!  If I catch sight of them early enough, I can roll my windows up and turn the A/C on in time to skip having to smell the grass.  While a lot of people, including me, enjoy the smell of freshly cut grass, it drives my allergies insane.

Our paychecks are posted on the system already.  Co-Worker and I were shocked to see something new taken out of our checks.  Something we knew nothing about.

The Kentucky Retirement System (KRS) has started taking our share of our retirement out of our checks.  *le sigh*

I was under the impression that would start happening at the same time we started getting our longevity pay (3 years).  I was wrong.  The retirement system waits for a year and then starts taking 5-6 percent of your gross income each pay period.

I had 8 hours of overtime on this check, so my KRS contribution was a nice little chunk of change.   I’m freaking out about the finances, but I’ve finally gotten signed up on oDesk and I finally passed the one test I was having trouble with.

I’m currently in the middle of taking some of the skills tests before applying for any of the jobs on there.  Hopefully I can get that going so I can bring in some extra income.  Luckily for this month, my car payment was deferred and the $160 won’t be missed too much.   But come June, I’m going to be scrambling even more than I do now.

I’ve already decided I need to call the cable company and have them remove the DVR and put me down to basic cable.   I’ll be making that phone call tomorrow after I’ve slept on this.

Please don’t get me wrong, I am NOT complaining about the fact I have a job or that I have a retirement plan now.  I am complaining about the fact that it happened so suddenly and we didn’t have any kind of warning, other than it being briefly talked about in our employee orientation a year ago.

I know the retirement will definitely help me in the long run and I’m grateful for that.  But since I’m trying live in the here and now, not 20 years from now, I’m worried about my finances even more than I was yesterday before I knew they were taking that $87 out of my check.

I have one month to find a 2nd job.  I’m hoping the oDesk stuff pans out because I’d really like it to an “at home” second job, ya know?   We’ll see what happens and I’m going amp up my search for that 2nd job.

Until next time…