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Working my way back…

I got my cup of coffee this morning before getting ready for work and logged into the school website.  I have a choice of three seminars I can attend for my math class.  They are:  Wednesday at 4pm; Thursday at 1pm or Monday at 11pm.  Yeah, see the problem with those?  Thankfully, they have an alternative assignment each week, so I’ll listen to the archives and then take a quiz on that seminar to get my participation points for that.  If I’m ever off on a Wednesday or Thursday, I’ll attend those seminars.  I’ve emailed my professor to make sure it’s okay that I just do the alternate assignment each week. 

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the last few days and it’s beginning to be painful in my head!  lol  Not really, but I have been thinking a lot.  Thankfully, I haven’t been thinking stuff to death like I have a habit of doing, but I’ve still been thinking.

Obviously my meds were/are not working properly for my depression.  I’ve gotten progressively worse for weeks now.  I’m taking the steps to correct this and am awaiting an appointment within the next week.  Time to shake up the meds?  Possibly.  Time to get all this shit off my chest again?  Definitely.

I don’t know why I do this to myself.  I take care of things for months and then something is said or done and I hibernate and isolate and go back into that unhealthy cycle.  I’ve been talking to people about this and it just gets worse sometimes.  Maybe it just needed to get worse before it gets better?  Who knows. 

For someone with depression, my outlook on life sure is good.  Yeah, I have problems and I feel sad most of the time, but I believe I have a good life.   Strange really.  Just one more thing to talk about, right?

I’m fighting a headache again and I’m hoping it goes away throughout the day at work.  If not, I’ll be a zombie by my 8pm seminar tonight in my writing class.  I’ll work through it though and if it gets super bad, I’ll come home and burn some sick time or vacation hours (I have a few left after the vacation).

On that note, need to get ready, have a great day!

Until next time…

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