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Riding the pink cloud…

After that post yesterday, I have to admit how much better I feel.  I feel even better this morning because this friend I mentioned and I have talked a bit and I believe it will work out just fine. 

We have a saying in GA that new members are usually riding the pink cloud by days 15-20.  This means they are opening their minds up to newer possibilities and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  For some, the pink cloud effect lasts for months into the program, even years.  If we are truly blessed, the effect will carry with us throughout our recovery.

Currently, I feel that feeling.  I feel like I’m in a pink cloud effect.  I feel light and happy.  I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I don’t know what exactly happened inside of me over the weekend, but while some of the feelings were negative and hurtful, I sure feel differently today.  I feel like a weight has been lifted and there is no darkness around me.

Was it me letting go of resentments?  Was it looking in my mirror and accepting myself the way I am, without change?  Was it forgiveness of self and others?  I don’t know exactly what it was, but I’m glad I went through it.

I think life is too short for resentments and hatred.  I’m going to be making a concerted effort to not harbor those two things anymore.  Yeah, it will take some work, but I think some of what I went through over the weekend had to happen in order for me to move forward.  I prayed to see the truth and I saw it in all it’s glory and pain. 

And on a completely different note, I woke up in a panic at 5:45 this morning, believing it was payroll Monday.  OY!  Talk about an adrenaline rush too early in the freaking morning!  It took a good 45 minutes while slowly getting ready for work for me to calm down and my heart rate to go back to normal.  Not a great way to start the week!

I was a complete lazy ass over the weekend and didn’t do half my homework.  I’m going to be a busy woman this afternoon after work!  Blech!  That’s what I get I suppose!

Until next time…

6 Responses to “Riding the pink cloud…”

  • Miss Britt says:

    I mean this in all sincerity and with no condescension – I’m really happy for you. Your writing seems to reveal a sense of peace and optimism – and that’s really cool.

  • Sodapop says:

    Miss Britt – thank you. It’s taken a lot to get me into the space I’m in right now, while painful and sometimes irritating as shit, I’m glad I went through it all. It’s helped mold who I am today. It’s hard work, but well worth it in the long run. Now, I just need to hang onto this feeling and remain there! :)

  • Hilly says:

    I think you and I are in the same place-ish.

    I’m really done with drama, hate, resentment, or giving too much of a crap about other people’s inventory. I’ve recoiled into a peaceful world of friends and family and absolutely love it here. I have no idea what’s going on with me but sister, it’s lovely to just give it all up and breathe.

    You are totally amazing, by the way. Just so you know. :)

  • Sodapop says:

    Hilly, I completely agree. I’m too busy worrying about my own inventory to wonder about someone else’s. It’s taken me awhile to get to this space, but I’m glad I finally got here. It’s a huge relief!

    Awww, thank you :) xoxo

  • Lynda says:

    I feel like that too. I like the saying.

  • Miss Britt says:

    When it’s been hard?

    That’s how you know you’re doing it right.

    So says the woman who wanted to punch her marriage counselor for the first month or so. heh.