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Archive for July, 2010

I may or may not have….

Each one of these little bullets should be read with the post title preceding them….

  • worn a red toga (that made me feel all Buddhist Monkish) this past weekend
  • drank entirely too much sangria
  • drank way too much Wild Turkey 101, along with the above listed sangria
  • sang Def Leppard’s Pour Some Sugar on Me.
  • Sang the above song in front of a video camera.
  • lost my toga fairly early in the party (but I had clothes on underneath, no worries mom!)
  • let my boobie cleavage show for all the world to see
  • had my picture taken with a bust of Elvis that will sing to you if you’re nice.
  • Had a horrible headache-y hang over yesterday after said toga party
  • almost cried with joy when we got some pancakes for breakfast because they were like crack.
  • almost cried with joy from the smell of bacon in the house and the taste of coffee
  • taken a nap when I got home from Lexington.
  • been drinking nothing but water and coffee all day yesterday and today.
  • been reminded WHY I do not drink so much cause the hangovers get worse as I get older.  OY!

There’s my cheesy recap of my weekend!  Hope yours was as wonderful and fun filled as mine!

Until next time…

Where has this year gone?

I was looking at the calendar earlier since my next set of classes start on the 28th of July.  Where the HELL has this year gone?  Good Lord!  It has flown by so fast, I don’t know where it went!  It’s amazing to me that we are already near the next of July!

I found out my final grades for Psychology and State & Local Government and I passed them both with a B.  This is awesome for me, since I don’t remember ever having a grade point average of B.  Ever.

Work is going pretty well.  It’s been busy and stressful the last few weeks trying to close out 2009/2010 FY and start up on 2010/2011 int he vacation database.  It’s been a mess, but I’m trudging through it and am almost done with everything needed to do before I can start tracking this current year vacations.  I should be completely caught up by Wednesday of next week.  I was pushing for tomorrow, but it’s payroll this week so I’ll be busy doing payroll stuff tomorrow and Monday and I may not get to it before Tuesday.

I’m heading to the Ultimate Toga Party this weekend and I’m looking forward to it!  I can’t wait to see all the people who will be there and hang out and have fun.

I may or may not have a date tomorrow night, too.  I don’t really want to jinx it so I’ll just say I met him when I was out dancing this last weekend and we exchanged phone numbers.  We’ve been chatting off and on all week long.  We’ll see how it goes and I may or may not report back to you.

Things have been good for me and I find myself focusing more on the positive in my life, which I kind of lost my way from for awhile.  I’m on a path that I’m currently content with.  I’ve also found out a few things about some other things I’m going through (cryptic much?) and I find that it’s normal and almost 100% of people like me do it and/or go through it.  I’m no longer going to beat myself up for struggling to adapt to my new surroundings.  I’m no longer going to beat myself up for not being able to settle in here completely yet.

Until next time…

Fiscal year end hives

I’ve been working on year end stuff the last few weeks.  Well, at least as much as I can since there were four days of the old FY in this pay period.  We just did the payroll for it yesterday, so I’ll be able to do what I need to do today.  I would have started it yesterday, but I was so sick to my stomach from lack of sleep and being up all night with acid reflux that I came home early instead.  It was much needed cause I was hurting by the time we finished payroll at 1pm!

Not much has been happening in my little corner of the world.  I’ve been doing school work and making sure I get things turned in on time and what not.  Tonight is the last seminar for psychology and the end of this term.  This means I’ll basically have two weeks off from school work!  We have 10 weeks, but the 10th week (that starts tomorrow) is usually just reflective and we don’t get graded for discussion board posts or anything like that and there are no seminars or assignments.

My next term starts July 28th, so I’ll be fully recovered from the Ultimate Toga Party before it starts!  Speaking of that, I still need to learn how to make a toga!  My friend SC and I are going to be getting some cheapy, obnoxiously colored sheets this weekend for our togas and we’ll go from there!

Hope you’re all doing well!  I’ll probably be posting another list from my daily inventory soon, just to get it out there.  I’m working at getting back to my free therapy I find here on this blog and I will only get there if I use it, ya know?

Until next time…

Some things I do and do not do

I’m working through that whole “not feeling safe” thing from my post yesterday.

I made this list up a few weeks ago when I was feeling kinda whiny and petulant. 

  • I am faithful and love my Higher Power, deferring all major decisions to Him.
  • I am compassionate
  • I am loyal beyond reason sometimes
  • I forgive easily and without regret
  • I love my family and friends
  • I love my recovery – no matter how shaky it gets sometimes
  • I am good at my job
  • I am a great listener
  • I give great advice (if only I could follow my own advice….)
  • I may struggle financially, but I am in a good place for my current bills & living expenses.
  • I may not have the highest IQ out there, but I am smart and intuitive
  • I am stronger than anyone (including myself) gives me credit for
  • I approach every situation with love and compassion – whether it backfires in my face or not, I do not let that stop me

 ______________________________

  • I have not once made judgment on someone without knowing both sides of the story – and sometimes not even then.
  • I have never made someone choose sides in a situation and have never considered doing it.
  • I complain a lot, even when my life is good.  I think it’s just the woman in me.
  • I no longer enjoy just sitting around drinking.  I’d rather go out and dance it off or shoot pool while drinking and have a designated driver there!
  • I no longer enjoy gossiping maliciously about people, places and things.  It’s not who I am so I am working on not doing that anymore.
  • I no longer enjoy blogging as much as I used too or even using Twitter like I used too.  I do, however, still absolutely adore Facebook and everything on there!
  • I do not lie about who I am, what I was or what I did while I was gambling (and even after that).
  • In the last 9 years, I have not thrown someone’s past in their face or used it against them in any way.
  • I do not like my supervisor for work stuff, but outside of work she’s fun and a hoot to hang out with.
  • I do not enjoy being in school but I know that the long term goal I’ve set will benefit me and I keep trying to focus on that end result.
  • I no longer lack integrity and strive to do the next right thing – whether anyone is watching or not.
  • I no longer cry for attention when I’ve done something good for someone else.
  • I keep to myself more today than I did a year ago and I’m okay with that. 
  • I’m kind of digging where I’m at right now.

Losing the passion

I think I’ve lost the passion to blog.  I think I’m losing the passion to come here daily and tell you what’s going on in my life.  I’d like to say it’s changes within me and this is just another evolution of me, however, the honesty of it all is this – I don’t feel safe here.  I do not feel safe sharing my inner most thoughts and feelings here anymore.  I find this incredibly heart breaking.

For me, courage is not the lack of fear, but walking through that fear and doing it anyway.  So here I am walking through that fear of having no safety net when I blog and tell you all my deepest, darkest secrets.

I have a handful of people who have this blog, I know them all either personally or well enough online that if my thoughts get shared with those NOT having this URL and it somehow gets back to me?  I’ll know whom I can and cannot trust.  Sad, but true cause I love each and every one of you and it’s already been proven that someone handed out my information, so really – who can I trust?

I’ve had a lot going on in my life lately.  I’ve got school and the whole financial aid fiasco of 2010 should be taken care of.  I bartered and hemmed and hawed until we came to a mutual understanding that I cannot afford what they were asking me to pay.  We compromised and met somewhere in the middle between what I WAS paying and what they wanted me to pay this time.  I’m not 100% happy with it, but it’s my education that will net me higher paying jobs in the long run, so I’m trying to just suck it up and keep moving forward.

All those sinus infections and colds I’ve been fighting off the last few months?  Yeah, they caught up with me Thursday of last week.  I was horribly sick over the weekend and could hardly talk.  My mom called me several days of the weekend and it hurt too much to talk at one point on Sunday.  It was horrible.  I was hacking up a lung and sneezing my bloody head off.  I’m feeling much better today, still congested though.  I’ve been using the Neti pot religiously and taking my meds like I’m supposed too.  I’m hoping I kick this within the next day or two.

I’m sure it did not help the cold/allergy/whatev but I rearranged my living room and bedroom over the weekend.  Actually did the bedroom Sunday evening and the living room on Monday.  I don’t know how to just relax anymore without getting up to do stuff around this apartment.

Nothing exciting in the love life arena.  Although, don’t ask a few of my co-workers.  They’ll tell ya I’m banging all the firefighters downstairs.  While I wouldn’t mind doing one or two of them, I just can’t see myself doing that.  It reminds me of my ex boyfriend who thought I was sleeping with a whole squad of bike officers in Vegas.  lol  Turned out he was cheating on me, so he was trying to project his actions onto me.  Figures.

Hope you’re all doing well!

Until next time…