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Archive for February, 2011

Monday – February 28 – Day 56

First, let me say that I ended up telling my trainer that the workout he gave me today also gave me a cramp in my ass cheek.  Awesomeness right there, people…

20 db thrusters
20 sdhp (Sudo Deadlift High Pull or something like that)
20 jumping squats
20 lunges
20 burpees
4 rounds

When we got this, I freaked out.  What the hell is “sdhp”?  Of course, it was a P1 day, so the trainer told me to check with those guys.  Which, I did.  It wasn’t as hard as it looked in the few pictures I found on the web.

With the SDHP, you start like a deadlift and as you come up, you pull the bar up to your chin.  I’m sure I’m not describing it well enough to do it justice, but it really wasn’t as hard as it sounds.

I finished three rounds.  I started the 4th and finished the thrusters and did about 5 of the sdhp for that round.  However, I ended up getting the shakes and thought I was going to throw up on one of the P1 guys, so I stopped.  

My workout partner let the two guys guilt her into a 4th round and she completed it.  She told me after that she just gets tired of listening to them and so she didn’t want to deal with them bitching.  Me?  I don’t care so much.  If I get to a point where I’m feeling like puking?  I can guarantee you that I will stop.

One of the guys apologized to me for pushing me, while knowing I didn’t feel I could do it.  I told him not to ever apologize for pushing me to my limits with these workouts.  He’s one of three people allowed to do that.  He said he just didn’t want me to think he was being an asshole.  Awwww that was sweet.  I told him I may fuss back at him, but I do listen to him and I take what he says to heart and I value his opinion when it comes to these workouts.

Anyone above and beyond the two P1 guys and my trainer will be ignored from this day forward.  I let them get to me last week and I won’t do that again.  Fuck that.

So yeah, besides sitting on an ice pack right now, I’m feeling halfway decent about my attempt at the workout today. 

It’s also official, I have started wearing size 10.  I was a size 14 in July when I started walking.  I’ve been wearing baggy, too big for me size 12s for the last several weeks cause some days they felt tight.  I squee’d and then I did a little happy “jig” in the fitting room yesterday. 

Feeling good about my journey….

Nearing the end of February…

As February draws to a close and I pound out some homework that I’ve been slacking on, I realize how quickly this year really has been going.  Amazing how time flies!

Just a quick update for what’s going on in my life:

  • Still worried about my friend and her son back in Arizona.  Wishing I could be there to help out. Instead, sending all my love and prayers that way.
  • I went 32 days without smoking and then lit em up again *sigh*
  • Thankfully, I didn’t pick up where I left off (17 cigarettes a day) and kept it below 8 or 9 a day.
  • I smoked for 6 days and I’m back on the patch today – back at day 1.
  • I’m not all that upset that I slipped and I’m not all that unhappy with the fact I decided to quit again so quickly.
  • It is what it is and I’m not going to beat myself up over it.  Just gotta pick myself up by the bootstraps and start again!
  • Dropped a nice chunk of change at the dentist yesterday for the crowns I’m getting.
  • I have a temp crown now and my smile is back to normal (along with my vanity and self confidence)
  • Taking a hard look at my workouts and where I want to go with them.  Apparently, Crossfit pretty much pushes you to “time” yourself during each workout.  I have yet to time any of my workouts – except once when we did a minute of each exercise.
  • I don’t get the concept of timing them.  They say it’s to track your progress.  Which is fine, I suppose, but I track my progress in how my clothes fit, how I feel and how I look.  My progress has been awesome, I think.
  • Asking MLB.com/tv for a refund.  I forgot to cancel my subscription last year, so it was an automatic renewal.  I can’t afford to “eat” that $127 for the season just to watch on a computer.  I got the YES Network so I wouldn’t need the subscription for MLB.com/tv.
  • Still fighting some sinus funk.  I’ve been fighting this for three weeks now and it’s irritating.  I’ve been on two rounds of antibiotics to get rid of the actual infection, but my nose is still clogged up most of the time and my throat still hurts throughout the day.  And yes, I use my Neti Pot daily.
  • Today started pretty early and I’ve gotten quite a bit of homework done.  Taking a break right now, to clean up some stuff and wash my linens.  I’ll get back to it.
  • I may be going shopping sometime today for an outfit for the awards & retirement banquet next week for work.  I have nothing I could wear, so a friend and I may hit the mall or other stores this afternoon.
  • After my shopping (if I go) it’ll be time for more homework and maybe a movie tonight.
  • Hope you all have a great weekend!

Until next time…

Friday February 25 – Day 55

There may or may not be a rant at the end of this…

Both my workout partner and I thought this workout was ugly!

5 stair runs
25 burpees
25 db squat clean & jerk
25 knee ups
25 Russian twists
50 sit ups
5 stair runs

Okay…first, let me be accountable here and say that I’ve been smoking again this week.  I know, I know.  No lectures and no beating me up.  I’ve done both enough for all of us.  However, I am happy to say my new quit date is tomorrow and I’m going back on the patch as well.  I could list all the reasons I started and picked em up again, and they are really valid, non-petty reason…but they are still just excuses. 

I did the stairs.  Proudly and without having to use my inhaler, I did the stairs.

When he first sent us this, I texted and asked about the squat clean and jerks cause they didn’t sound familiar to me.  He told me to ask the P1 guys.  Okay, so I ask and they say they will show us.  However, when it was time for us to do that particular exercise, they were out on a run – so we went on with the rest of this workout.

When we finished the rest of it, they showed up to show us the clean and jerks.  In the middle of the other parts of the workout, the numb wore off on my mouth (had some dental work done earlier in the day) and my mouth was on fire.  I just wanted to curl up in a corner and cry.

I tried the db squat clean and jerk and I think I did about 8 of them before giving up.  First of all, my mouth was making me want to cry and second, they were really stupid and awkward.  I’ll keep trying though.

Once we did that, one of the guys started fussing at us for not timing our workouts.  Apparently, Crossfit is big in timing your workout so you can see how you “progress.”  I don’t get the timing thing.  I hate it and have refused to time myself.  Although, when the trainer has said “as fast as possible” I’ve done the best I can – but I still don’t time myself. 

This person asked me how do I know I’ve progressed.  Ummm hello?  20 pounds, 2 dress sizes and I feel GREAT.  I know I’ve progressed, but with that one simple question and that one simple conversation, I’ve started doubting myself.  Am I failing at this?  Am I NOT progressing?  Am I NOT getting healthy and what not?  So I chewed on the conversation and the way it made me feel and I’ve made a decision….

I will talk to the trainer when I see him Tuesday and have him explain to me, in a way I understand, WHY I need to time myself.    If he can give me a reason I can wrap my brain around I’ll start considering timing myself.  I have come so very far in this journey, I am NOT going to let someone else’s opinion on the timing of these workouts to derail my progress.

Now to enjoy my two days of rest…

Thursday February 24 – Day 54

While yesterday’s workout was super hard at the end of it and we felt worse, today’s workout had us both almost in tears and cussing the trainer….

20 push ups
20 Russian twists
20 bent over rows (with barbell)
20 bench press – with barbell and option of weight (yeah right!)
20 sit ups
20 shoulder press
3 rounds

Ummm wow.  My arms were feeling heavy and hurting fairly quickly into this workout.  We were already sore from the arms stuff of yesterday’s workout (the push ups and the holding the barbell while we did squats), so all this arms stuff had us whimpering!  It was horrible. 

Fairly late in the afternoon, I texted the trainer cause I finally actually wrote out the workout and realized how nasty it looked.  I told him as much.

After the work out, I texted him and told him that it was confirmed, the workout sucked ass and I’m fairly sure I won’t be able to move my arms tomorrow or wash my hair for a week.  Fucker.

That is all.

Wednesday February 23 – Day 53

Apparently, the Trainer did text me back yesterday…I just never got it.  Ah well, at least we did something.

Today, I snitched on myself and told him I needed an “ass kicking workout” to make up for the Girl Scout cookies I ate.  NEVER EVER make that request to your trainer, people.  He WILL provide for you an ass kicking workout…

10 squats with weight (barbells used 35-45#)
20 push ups
30 lunges
2 stair runs
5 rounds

I just want it on record that my thighs are STILL burning – a little more than 2 hours later.  It not only kicked my ass, but it kicked the shit outta my thighs.  I thought they were on fire and they felt super heavy.

I may not be able to walk tomorrow…

Monday the 21st and Tuesday February 22 – Days 51 & 52

I was really distracted yesterday, due to a very good friend being in a car accident in Arizona and trying to remain updated on all the conditions of her family and her.

I didn’t hear back from the Trainer yesterday or today, so we went back and repeated a few he’d already given us.  Monday, we repeated the 100 sit ups; 10 burpees; 50 sit ups; 10 burpees; 25 sit ups; 10 burpees.  Yes.  I willingly did burpees without him telling me to do them.  Ugh.  I’m becoming addicted to this Crossfit thing, I’m sure of it.

Today’s workout was kinda chosen by both of us – my workout partner went through a list of workouts we’d already done and I said okay to this one.

20 OH lunges (overhead lunges) with 10 pounds
20 squats
20 bent over rows w/barbell
50 sit ups
3 rounds

This made my knees weak, which I think was a repeat of how I felt the first time I did it lol.  It was a lot harder than it looked on paper, that’s for sure.  We did it in fairly good time and even had a little time to chat with the P1 guys as they were starting their workout when we finished.

I’m hoping the Trainer is okay.  He usually always gets back to us the same day and when he doesn’t, he apologizes the next day when he realizes he missed us.  Since we didn’t hear from him either day, I’m a little concerned.  Tomorrow is his duty day, so I’ll see him in the morning to make sure he’s alright.

We are thinking of shaking things up a bit sometime soon and starting to run the stairs at the training academy a few times a week.

These are the stairs we are thinking of doing:

We used to run these 2-3 times a week before we started walking downtown and then doing Crossfit.  The last time I ran these, I was smoking a pack a day and could barely do these outside stairs three times without falling over.  I’d love to see what I can do now!

My one wish for today…

My one wish for today would be that we could all see ourselves for one minute (60 seconds) the way others see us.  When we beat ourselves up for some behavior or action we feel is deviant or a “failure,” we fail to view ourselves in a positive light.

I went out today cause I was feeling very antsy and on edge.  I didn’t really know what was bothering me, but I sure missed smoking.  At some point, the emotions I was feeling turned directly into the fact that I thought “I miss smoking.  I miss the constant companionship.”  I went out to buy some Dr. Pepper and maybe stop at Qdoba for some of their nachos (cause they fucking rock).

I stopped at Speedway for the soda and while I was there, I bought a pack of cigarettes.  Yup.  You read that correctly.  I went on to Qdoba and got my three cheese nachos with chicken and headed home.  I ate my nachos and then stared at the pack of cigarettes for a good 20 minutes.  I opened it, I put that cigarette in my mouth and I lit it up like I had been smoking everyday.  And then…

I choked.  I gagged and I’m pretty sure I turned green around the gills.  It was disgusting.  I immediately put it out after the third or fourth drag and proceeded to puke for 20 minutes until it was dry heaving.  It was horrible.  Oh my gosh.

Needless to say, I now believe myself to be a true non-smoker.  After I was done getting sick and I washed my face – I posted on Twitter and Facebook and destroyed the remaining cigarettes in that pack.  It was horrible.

I proceeded (for about five minutes) to beat myself up, call myself a failure and every other nasty name I could think of to call myself.

And after chatting with a friend, I realized my one wish for today.  At first, the wish was just for me and that I would be able to view myself the way some of you do.  So I changed it up and made it not so all about me, because I know other people do it too.  I wished that we could all, at some point in any given day, see and view ourselves the way our supporters do.  We all have them.  Supporters.  Those people who will encourage and push us to be better people.

Today, I hope YOU find that one minute; that one 60 second period of time where you view yourself the way your support system does.

Until next time…

Friday February 18 – Day 50

How do people usually celebrate doing something routinely for 50 days?  I know that when I’ve gone 50 days without smoking, I will be buying myself something (that is, if I have money after going to the dentist next week).

At some point, I realized I had not heard from The Trainer and so at 2:45 this afternoon, I texted him with “either you got busy and forgot about me or the workout is going to be so heinous, you know I’ll hate you for a minute or two and possibly cry.”  OMG!  I was kidding!  His response?

Run 1 mile
40 push ups
40 jump squats
40 lunges
40 Russian twists
40 shoulder press w/barbell
1 round

First, let me just say I am very grateful I only had one round of this.  Second, I would like it on record that I finished the whole fucking workout.  I did it without having to use my inhaler.  I did it without falling out and crying my crybaby eyes out.  I did it.

Yes, I may have walked a good portion of the mile, but I finished the mile.

Yes, I may have had to stop every 10 or so of each exercise to catch my breath and/or stop the burning sensation I felt in that area (specifically the lunges and squats burned!)

Yes, I may have hated the Trainer for a little longer than “a minute” like I threatened him with.

After I got home and about an hour after I finished the workout, I texted him and thanked him for not killing me.  “Wow you suck.  That was gross, but quite happy to report I did it all AND I did not need the inhaler this time.  😛  Thanks for not killing me today.  lol”

He is so used to my random texts like that, I normally don’t get a response unless there’s a question in there.  Thank goodness he gets me enough to know that I will randomly text him with what I have to say about these workouts and how they make me feel.

I am now going to go enjoy the rest of my evening by cuddling with my Josie, watching Criminal Minds reruns and trying not to fall asleep before 8pm on a Friday, since Laci and I canceled our plans for Mamma Mia!

Lagging or slacking?

I used to love coming to this blog every day, sometimes every other day, to tell you what’s going on in my life.  Now?  It’s like a chore.  I think to myself “oh crap!  I forgot I have a blog!”

The more physically active I’ve become, the less I feel like blogging or sitting still for longer than necessary, really.  It drives me insane to be sitting still for longer than I absolutely have too (like with school or work stuff). 

I’ve been experiencing a lack of focus throughout this whole term for school, as well.  The lack of focus I feel could still very well be a part of my nonsmoking thing (which is going very well!)  So I’m just laying the hammer down and getting shit done.  I’ve emailed both professors, asking what I can do to bring up my grades.  I have missed a few assignments here and there – some I finished, I just never turned in (?) Cause that makes sense.

But I digress.  This blog.  I don’t know what direction I want to take it in.  I know that I want somewhere to express myself personally or whatever I feel like expressing myself.  I probably won’t actually get rid of this place, so much as just keep it going the same way I have.  Ignoring it for days, sometimes weeks, at a time. 

I have a dentist appointment for Tuesday morning.    I can NOT wait for this appointment.  For the first time ever, I’m actually looking forward to a dentist appointment.  Although, I’m NOT looking forward to the financial hardship this will most definitely cause.  I know it’s a total vanity thing.  Complete vanity repair is what is going to happen.  It has not effected my eating, my talking (although I feel like I’m talking like Sylvester the cat saying “sufferin succotash”), or my well being.  However, my ego sure has taken a huge lashing this week.  I work with some cruel, mean spirited people.  I have however, been able to laugh a bit at my situation – and there has been a handful of coworkers who keep telling me they don’t notice it until I laugh out loud or smile really big (two things I LOVE to do!)

Time to go run a mile and try not to kill myself doing my workout…

Until next time…

Thursday February 17 Day 49

The Trainer was quite happy to see that I actually did survive the workout yesterday.  We discussed it and I told him I think I just tried that shit too soon after still fighting the plague AND having asthma.  He agreed and said “we may have tried running too soon.  It’s okay, it’ll come.”

And today it was just me, due to my workout partner having to work her 2nd job.

100 sit ups
10 burpees
50 sit ups
10 burpees
25 sit ups
10 burpees

Yeah.  Not much to say about this, other than I finished it.  I actually kicked some serious time on it.  Currently, my abs are screaming at me.  They are very sore!  Not really looking forward to how they will feel tomorrow.  Hopefully it’s not as bad as I’m predicting.

We’ll see what he’s got for me tomorrow.  It will have to be a fast one though, cause Miss Laci and I are going to see Mama Mia!