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There but for the Grace of God go I

As I sit here this morning writing this post, I think of all the things going on in my life and how truly blessed I’ve been, even in those struggles.

The situation in Vegas is coming to a close (legally) and I’ll have some more stuff I need to take care of and pay for, but it’s finally winding down to the point I can move forward with things and get shit done.  I’m sure I’ll stress over the finances of it all, since that is my weakest link in my life right now, but at least I’ll be moving forward instead of sitting in one spot – the unknown.

I’ve learned a great lesson in my trials and tribulations of the last 6 months.  Things about myself and things about other people.  I’ve been blessed with many good friends who support me emotionally and encourage me to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  I’m blessed with family who encourage me and let me vent and let me know they are praying for me.  I cling to those people, as I’ve also been blessed in seeing the true character of some people in my life and it makes me feel blessed to know I don’t have to own their behavior. 

I’ve grown and I’ve digressed.  I’ve moved forward and I’ve moved backward (all emotionally speaking, of course).  I’ve also found my way to some new discovery of self.  While I sometimes don’t like what I see in the mirror of self awareness, I will always be grateful for it.

God’s grace is unearned.  While, as a Christian, I believe we all deserve it, I also believe it is unearned and when God graces me, I feel truly blessed.

I was recently talking to The Trainer after my workout and we were discussing me going to a concert and he said to me “don’t drink and drive!” I laughed out loud and said “I don’t drink anymore, so it’s not a problem.”  Ten minutes later, I was chewing on that statement and trying to remember the last time I drank any kind of alcohol.  It was in February, Lexington to be exact.  After THAT weekend, I think I know why I haven’t been drinking at all.  lol

So I chewed on the statement I made some more and I realized I have no desire to drink.  None.  I have a bottle of wine in my fridge that I received for Christmas – never opened.  I have a six pack of beer in the fridge that has been there since before I went to Vegas – never opened.  I don’t even know that I’d want to do a shot of tequila (and anyone who knows me KNOWS that is shocking! Hahah)

As this new evolution of self starts and winds it’s way through my life, I can’t help but to be grateful that I’m on another one and that I am blessed to be here.

I’m taking my car in to be repaired Friday.  It’s going to be expensive (not as expensive as I originally thought though!) and I’m not looking forward to being out of that money.  But it’s going to be fixed, it won’t make the noises anymore.  I work with some pretty awesome people cause one of them said he’d pick em up from the shop and take me back to the office.  He also said he’d take me back down there when it was done, or if it wasn’t done that day, he’d take me home. 

Thanks for letting me share.

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